I love you to the bones
by PineappleCube
Summary: About anorexia. Hermione has an eating disorder, yet when will people realize, and can "friends with privileges" really have a plain-friend relationship when their emotions are all over the place like flies?
1. All Over the Place

Okay, this is about an eating disorder. So if that offends you please don't read on. It may act as a trigger too. You may not find my perception of Hermione's eating disorder realistic, but when people have eating disorders most act exactly the same as usual. It is only after time they become drawn into themselves, and start to act unlike them. So bare that in minds before you flame me for this being surreal. The motorways and the driving is from my head, you do not really have to turn off an A1 for surrey. Oh yes, and they're out of character. Totally out of character. The eating disorder in this fic has been portrayed personally but if you have suggestions please do put them in a review.

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**I love you to the bones**  
  
Hermione curled up into a ball at the bottom of the bed. It was 2 AM and she was still awake. She gritted her teeth and got out of bed. She walked down the two flights of stairs as quietly as she could and walked barefoot onto the cold tiles of the kitchen floor. She shivered slightly but didn't make any attempt to make herself warm. She grabbed a glass and turned on the hot tap, she gulped the water down and rubbed her stomach in a circular motion. She then turned off the hot tap and turned on the cold tap. She half filled her glass of water and sat at the breakfast bar on a high stool. She took a sip of water then put the glass back down.  
  
"Hermione?" Harry asked, Hermione jumped,  
  
"What is it Harry?" She asked with a hint of agitation in her voice that she didn't mean to be there,  
  
"I wondered why you were still up? That's all" He said looking at her looking slightly upset,  
  
"Sorry, I've got insomnia" She smiled and shrugged her shoulders slightly,  
  
"Oh okay"  
  
"I didn't wake you up did I?"  
  
"No. Not at all" Harry sat down opposite her, "So what did you eat with your friends then?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked furiously,  
  
"What did you eat? I mean when I came and your mum asked you to sit down at the table you only ate celery, and when your mum asked why you said you'd eaten with friends" He chuckled,  
  
"Oh, a McDonalds" Hermione said, inwardly smiling.  
  
"Any good"  
  
"Plastic-y as usual" She said tutting disapprovingly,  
  
"Oh okay" Harry said, "Your mum's a great cook, isn't she?"  
  
"Yes, I know she is" Although Hermione didn't have a clue about her mum's cooking, "You thirsty?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Is your room alright?" She asked. Harry had only got there at 6:00pm that night, she'd only just come in from her walk, or she'd only just come back from 'being with her friends'.  
  
"It's great!" He grinned, "I'm so glad I'm not at the Dursley's"  
  
"I bet" She faked a yawn, "I'm knackered. Going to go back to bed"  
  
"Me too." Harry said, Hermione stood up and got the glass her water had been in. She then walked over to the fridge and pressed her glass onto the button that triggered the little ice machine. She let four or five cubes fall in then twisted the cold tap round and poured her a full glass of water. "Night 'Mione" Harry said from the door,  
  
"Night Harry" Hermione said, walking over to him ignoring her aching stomach and aching muscles. She followed him up the stairs luckily the stairs didn't creak. Harry then turned left down the corridor to the guest room and she went up a second flight of stairs to her bedroom. She looked at her desks, wardrobes, chests, beds and other various pieces of furniture, including a new egg chair, silhouetted against the desk lamp on her bedside table.  
  
She got into her cold bed and turned off the lamp. She sat with both hands behind her head and stared up at the ceiling. She sipped some of her cold water and chomped an ice cube. At about half past three in the morning Hermione fell asleep curled up in a ball because of hunger pains. Her bedroom was painted black and red, and all her furniture matched.  
  
She woke up at about six am. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Her bedroom was still dark so she switched on the lamp by her bedside. She opened the top drawer of her cupboard and pulled out a little black booklet and a red pen. She pulled the cap off the pen and put it on the end, she then thumbed through pages and pages of red writing until she reached where she left off.  
  
She scribbled down a few thoughts about Harry's visit, basically she was happy he was here. She sat in her huge baggy t-shirt hugging her legs and staring around at her room. She pulled off her t-shirt and stood in front of the mirror in just her underwear. She poked at her ribs and her hips. She pulled and pushed the paper-thin flesh over her bones.  
  
She let her critical eye point out every mistake on her body. She rubbed her hands over her arms, her hips, her stomach, and back up again. She could have stared at her thin body all day, reminding her how much better being thin was. How she had more willpower than everyone else around her. Yet, she never got the chance as there was a knock at her door.  
  
"'Mione" Harry said softly, "Can I come in?"  
  
"One second" Hermione dashed over to her bed she thrust on her big t-shirt and slipped under her black satin covers and resting her head on her red crushed satin pillow, "Come in then"  
  
"Morning" Harry said, his hair sticking up all over the place,  
  
"Morning" Hermione said, burying her bony arms and elbows under the covers.  
  
"I was a bit bored, so I thought I'd come and say hello" He smiled, and Hermione returned it,  
  
"Yeah I was a bored too" She lied,  
  
"What do you want to do today then?"  
  
"Well, my mum wants me to go pick my car up from my cousins" She paused, "It went in for some work and mum says it's rude to leave it there all this time"  
  
"Oh okay"  
  
"Then we could go for a drive, and stuff. Maybe hit the shops?"  
  
"Sounds cool to me" He paused, "Are these what your wearing today?" He asked, gesturing towards a pair of black trousers, with thick white pinstripes on them, and a pink top.  
  
"Oh, them" She looked at them, her mum had folded them and put them on the chair, "Errr, yeah" She forced a smile,  
  
"Cool" He smiled, "I'm going to get dressed" He left the room and shut the door, Hermione got out of her bed and stared at the clothes she'd had to tell Harry she was wearing. She'd actually tried to throw them out but her mum had had a fit. She went through her draws trying to find a decent bra, which would enhance her chest. This was because all her chest seemed to have vanished. She found one that had gel in that a muggle friend had bought her.  
  
She slipped the bra on and adjusted it slightly. She then slipped on the pink top. It had triangles at the top that covered her chest and showed off a little slither of her stomach, which in Hermione's eyes was far too much. It hung off her, yet still looked nice. Hermione looked through her tainted, critical eyes and was sure she looked hideous. She then changed her underwear and slipped on her pinstripes. They fitted her well, a bit loose but they were elasticised so they still clung to her a bit. She slipped on some skin coloured opaque knee high tights/socks. Then slipped on a pair of black ballet shoes. She did the ribbons up her legs. Then stared at her in the mirror. She used sleekeazy's hair serum, 'with a new improved formula' on her hair. This made her hair look curly but not bushy, frizzy yet she had to use over half the pot to make her hair straight. So, she stuck with wavy hair instead.  
  
She wondered what had happened to the old her, who didn't care about how she looked, who didn't have to know the amount of calories and the grams of fat and sugar in every morsel of food she ate. She applied some mascara, blusher and lip-gloss. She had a reason for every one of these, the mascara made her eyes look more awake so hopefully you couldn't tell as much that she hadn't had much sleep. The blusher was applied to cover up the paleness and the hollows of her face. The lip-gloss made her mouth much more aware of what was going in her mouth and the fruity taste helped her hunger pangs sometimes.  
  
She meandered down the stairs, looking aimless. She then sat opposite Harry at the breakfast table. He had a piece of toast and a glass of pure orange juice.  
  
"Your mum and dad left a note for us both"  
  
"Hermione and Harry,  
  
Feel free to have anything for breakfast. There is money in Hermione's account for anything you need. If you go out leave a note, sorry we couldn't be here,  
  
Love Mum and Dad, Alan and Joyce.  
  
P.S Harry dear, make sure Hermione has breakfast" Hermione read aloud,  
  
"Why did she put make sure you have breakfast?"  
  
"Because I don't eat breakfast. I have a coffee then food at about 12:00" She laughed, "She doesn't mean it, it's just a standing joke we have" She lied smoothly and Harry lapped it up,  
  
"Oh okay then" Harry smiled, "You look nice"  
  
"You too. Oh and you might need some gel in your hair" Hermione walked out of the room and came back a minute later with a bottle marked "Fructis Hard Glue".  
  
"You're putting that on? On me?"  
  
"Yep. You know you'd look good with blue in your hair, not like electric blue just some blue tints."  
  
"Hermione? What has come over you? This is so unlike you"  
  
"Yeah, well this is muggle Hermione. Or Mia as most of my other friends call me"  
  
"Okay then. I thought it was only me and Ron who called you Mia and 'Mione"  
  
"Yeah, well at Hogwarts you are" She grinned, "Here, your not, anyway Hermione doesn't go well with my street look" She said whilst applying the hard glue into Harry's hair, she made it looked ruffled but styled.  
  
"Street look? Okay, you are seriously not Hermione Emma Granger are you?"  
  
"I am, silly, I'm just different here" She washed her hands under the cold water tap. "I'm going to get a bottle of water I'll put it in my bag then we're ready to go get the bus"  
  
"Okay. Do I need money?" Harry was kind of happy. This Hermione was laid back, relaxed.  
  
"I've got some"  
  
"I'll take money" Harry said then went upstairs.  
  
Hermione walked into the lounge and grabbed a pink beach bag that matched with the top she as wearing. The handles were circular and magenta plastic. It had black, purple and magenta butterflies flying up the pink fabric leaving a sewn magenta trail of flight with a few magenta sequins worked in. She walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge and put a bottle of water into her bag. She then grabbed her phone and dialled the garage.  
  
"Hello. The divine right of cars garage, Jack speaking"  
  
"Hey Jack it's Mia"  
  
"Hey Mia! One sec" She could hear his faint muffled voice, "You guys it's Mia!" He then spoke louder, "Are you gonna' come pick your car up? It's been sat here wastin' space for eternity!"  
  
"Yeah, I'm bringing Harry. You know Harry right?"  
  
"How could I not! Can't wait. Do you want me to send someone to pick you guys up?"  
  
"Nah, we're fine."  
  
"Ok then. See you in half an hour or so"  
  
"Yep see you then" Hermione pressed the cancel button on her phone,  
  
"Ready then?" Harry asked from the doorway,  
  
"Yep. I don't think we'll need jackets or anything do you?"  
  
"No far too hot and sunny" Harry answered,  
  
"Right come on then" Hermione pulled some keys out of her bag she walked down the corridor past the stairs and out of the front door. She opened the door and let Harry out she then closed the door behind her and locked it. "Right, we'll get the bus"  
  
"Ok then"  
  
They walked a few blocks then waited for the number 639 into London city centre.  
  
"Two 40's please" Hermione said, asking for the student fare,  
  
"Passes."  
  
"What?" Hermione asked,  
  
"If you haven't got passes to prove your age you cannot have a 40 pence fare"  
  
"Oh my God. That is so typical. Two to Oxford Street then please"  
  
"That's two pounds and fifty pence then" Hermione slammed the coins down and stalked to the back of the bus. Harry followed her in his black quicksilver board shorts, a dark green t-shirt that said 'I like pain. What's your excuse?' and some black DCs.  
  
"Have you done all your homework?" Hermione asked,  
  
"Yeah, I did it at the Dursley's." Harry grinned, this was more like the old Hermione.  
  
Hermione and Harry sat on the back of the bus waiting to get into London.  
  
.............................  
  
"Right, we only have to walk a bit. Then we can drive... Wait until you see my car!" She exclaimed, her car, the one thing about herself apart from grades that she could be proud about.  
  
"What model have you got?"  
  
"You'll see" Hermione said her eyes lighting up. They turned down a few more alleys, and walked along a few more back streets. "Here we are"  
  
The building looked totally inconspicuous. A white sign hung outside with plain black writing that said 'the divine right of cars garage. Dial: 09014566754' Hermione stooped and walked under the garage door. Inside had blue lighting, leather sofas around the edge and a lot of expensive cars.  
  
"MIA!" Jack shouted,  
  
"Hey everyone, this is Harry"  
  
"Hey Harry" Everyone said,  
  
"Harry, this is Jack, over in the corner there is Brad, in the blue car is Ash, and then there you have Sean, yeah the legs under that car, there on the sofa is Bri and that over there is Colin" She took a deep breath, "Where's my baby then Cuz." She said, meaning cousin  
  
"It's in the other room. Everything has been added, and the top now goes under the back top panel, and you still have a boot." Jack replied, Hermione gave Jack a hug and a kiss on the cheek,  
  
"You're the best cousin ever" She said grinning,  
  
"You are too" He reached into his overall pockets, and handed her a set of keys with a black button panel with pink buttons on. "Your keys. Next time, don't leave it her for an extra couple of days"  
  
"I won't. I promise. I'll come visit you before I go back to board." She grabbed Harry's hand, "Come on!" Her eyes twinkled, this was the first time he'd seen them twinkle in ages, and "I can't wait for you to see it!"  
  
"Okay" She went through a big black door and it slammed shut after Harry, "Woah! These are damn nice cars. Do we have to go into another room for yours?"  
  
"No" Hermione said sitting on the bonnet of a pink convertible, that was in front of the garage door it looked ready to be taken out.  
  
"Mia! If you break that or anything the owner will kill you"  
  
"It's mine"  
  
"Shut up Hermione! Come on, I want to see your car"  
  
"You can see it now"  
  
"Mioneee" Harry whined, "Stop playing the pleb" He smiled,  
  
"I'm not, want me to show you?" She pressed a pink button on her little black control pad and the lights flashed twice and it beeped twice.  
  
"Oh my god!" Harry said, "You rich bitch"  
  
"I know, do you like the pink faux fur?"  
  
"I would never have guessed"  
  
"It's the same car as Suki, from 2 fast 2 furious" She grinned and walked over to the door and pressed a button, "Get in" Harry obliged and she got in after him, the garage door opened and she drove out, go press the button on the garage door will you?" Harry got out ran under the garage door, pressed the button and ran out as the door closed, "It's a Honda s-2000. It's had a paint job and some adjustments made. It's totally tricked out"  
  
"Cool" Harry said, "Bright pink! With pink fur interior?" He laughed, "Not you Hermione"  
  
"Want to go drive past Ron's house?"  
  
"Hell yeah!" Harry said chuckling, "He'll die when he sees it"  
  
"Right" Hermione did a few turns and then they were on a road leading to oxford street, she waited at the junction for the pedestrians to cross. They were getting a lot of awed stares.  
  
"Music?" Hermione asked, grinning,  
  
"I'm not sure with the look on your face"  
  
"Ah well" Hermione put the radio on, and the transplants started playing. It was on quite loud, and this just drew more attention from the pedestrians. It wasn't normal to see a top of the range pink convertible sports car with faux fur seats on Oxford Street on a Monday at about 11 in the morning. There was a group of sixteen or seventeen year olds on the corner of the opposite road, standing in a circle looking at the car Hermione and Harry were in, "The slytherins" Hermione said trying to contain a wave of hysterical laughs,  
  
"Pull over on the opposite side of that road to them and follow my lead okay?" Harry said, he felt proud and he had a kind of jumpy feeling inside of his stomach as happiness at seeing Hermione seemed to lick his insides.  
  
"Right gotcha" Hermione drove across Oxford Street at the first chance. She pulled over so her backend was just off Oxford Street. The slytherins were watching them. Harry pulled Hermione over the seat and whispered 'sweet nothings' in her ears,  
  
"They don't know it's us...Yet" He whispered, "Follow my lead" He whispered, "Oh baby" He said loudly, and kissed her. Hermione moved around and managed to flexibly, yet painfully wrap a leg around Harry's back so the slytherins could see it. Harry put his hands through Hermione's hair, "Moan" He muttered whilst kissing her collarbone,  
  
"Oh Harry" Hermione said arching her back in 'ecstasy', "Oh I can't wait until we get back" She purred but loud enough for the slytherins to hear. On the pretence of going to another shop the slytherins crossed the road to get a better look. Hermione was quite shocked at Harry,  
  
"In a second, I'll notice them then keep up the act" Harry muttered,  
  
"Harreeeeeeee" Hermione said stretching out his name, "That is so dirty"  
  
"Dirty but you like it" He growled, Hermione was glad the slytherins had swapped road sides because she was fighting to keep a straight face now, Harry pushed her back and kissed her furiously. He then looked up, "Hermione we have company" He muttered looking 'worried'.  
  
"What?" Hermione said and twisted around, "Shit" She said giggling.  
  
"I think we better say hello eh?" Harry said, he removed himself from Hermione and walked around the front of the car, Hermione took the keys out of the engine, picked up her bag and got out of the car shutting the door behind her. She then pressed a pink button on the top left of the black controller and the car locked itself. "Hello" Harry said jovially,  
  
"Fancy seeing you here" Hermione said to the shocked slytherins, Pansy had her arm on Draco, which Draco did not look pleased about at all, Blaise Zabini had a girl that looked a bit like a brown hair oriental version of Pansy, though she seemed to have still got the puggish nose.  
  
"Potter and Granger eh? What would Weasley say?"  
  
"It's only a quick shag Malfoy. You can have Hermione too if you want." He grinned, and gave Hermione a quick push forward with a quick movement she prised Pansy of Draco's arm and wrapped a leg around his waist, "Mind you, sloppy seconds" Harry shrugged grinning and Hermione giggled and walked away from Malfoy. Hermione was now rather gob smacked at Harry's totally different attitude.  
  
"I think I'm too good for you anyway Malfoy"  
  
"More like I'm too good for you Mudblood"  
  
"Well, I may not have pureblood. But at least I'm not like pug-pig 1 and pug-pig 2" Hermione whimpered sarcastically, "Sometimes I feel quite sorry for you with Parkinslut clinging onto you like a bitch. Then I remember you're a dog too" Hermione smirked,  
  
"Shut your face mudblood" Malfoy said glaring at her,  
  
"Pretty face" Hermione said, pointing at him with her thumb up, she then winked and flicked her thumb up and down, "See you around"  
  
"Yeah, see you at school you guys" Harry said in a camp voice, Hermione opened the car and got in along with Harry.  
  
"Incidentally, ever seen a car with Nitrous oxide?"  
  
"What the fuck is that?" Blaise asked,  
  
"Language Zabini" Harry said,  
  
"You just watch, and if you still don't now. You can always ask at school" Hermione pouted, drove off, she turned around and waved. Then hit a pink button on the steering wheel, some of the extra scales that Harry had wondered what for started to move and the car sped off, so fast Harry slammed against the seat. Hermione clutched onto the steering wheel and then as Harry blinked the car slowed down. "Oh my god Harry, you're a genius that was hilarious"  
  
"It was on a movie I watched over the summer"  
  
"We can pass through Little Whinging on the way to Ottery St. Catchpole if you want?"  
  
"Really? Awesome!" Harry said grinning.  
  
When driving Hermione didn't feel hungry at all, it was like her passion for food was replaced by a stronger passion for driving. They travelled in silence for ages.  
  
"We're nearly at Surrey now" Hermione said pointing to a small screen with a map on it. "We have to turn off the A1 to get into Surrey, then there's loads of little roads until Little Whinging" Hermione got into Surrey easily,  
  
"Find Little Whinging on the map and press your finger on it" Harry did as she asked and a more detailed map of the smaller area came up.  
  
"Now that is swish. I can't wait to see Uncle Vernon's face" Harry said grinning,  
  
"I owe you one from that prank with the Slytherins... So" She winked, "Let's see if I can work some of my muggle magic" Harry laughed,  
  
"Hermione, I wish I spent more time with you on your own out of school. You are such a blast!"  
  
"Oh, Harry don't" She put a hand on his arm then moved it to her face, "Your making me blush" She said jokingly, he shook his head his smiled wide.  
  
"Hermione you bitch" He said laughing as he spoke, "You're so uptight at school and here you're like some rampant maniac"  
  
"Well, you would never have done that at school!" Hermione said in reply, she turned onto Wisteria Walk. "Nearly there now"  
  
"It's Dudley!" He said laughing, as he saw Dudley with his mouth open wide with Piers Polkiss, and the rest of his friends. Although Dudley hated his diet, he had done quite well. He had the look of a once had been. Although he was still chubby. Almost like Neville Longbottom.  
  
"Dudley?" Hermione asked a quick wink, "I'll slow down" She stopped the car, "Come on the Harry we need to say hello" She got out of the car and locked it with her keys and slipped them in her bag,  
  
"Hey big D!" Harry said, "Piers, Marvin, John, Shaun, Samuel" He nodded to them all,  
  
"Dudley,darling" Hermione said in a posh voice, she shoved Harry out of the way gently, "I've heard so much about you honey"  
  
"You have?" Dudley said glaring at Harry as if he'd said something wrong,  
  
"Oh I have" She gave him a kiss on each cheek, "About how strong you are" She giggled like a blonde bimbo, "Well flex your muscles then" Dudley put an arm up like a muscle man and Hermione squeezed it, "Wow" She said her eyelashes fluttering, "That's amazing. Are you going to show me your parents then Dudley?"  
  
"Sure, erm?"  
  
"Hermione" She smiled, "Hermione Granger. I'll take my car round" She opened the car up, "Come on the Harry. Don't stand there like you've been whacked in the face with a trout!" She giggled and placed an emaciated hand on his face, they got in the car and drove around on to Privet Drive. She parked her car right outside the Dursley's and waited until they saw Dudley and his gang come around the corner all talking in hushed voices. "Ready Harry?"  
  
"What are we going to do?"  
  
"We'll go see your auntie and uncle, I'll keep making passes at Dudley. Then just before we drive off you kiss me"  
  
"Gotcha"  
  
"You kiss me first though" She winked, "Dudley!" She said in a loud voice getting out of the car. She locked it and faked looking at her face in the wing mirror so she could bend over so her posterior was right beside Dudley. She dabbed her lips gently. Then got some lip gloss out of her bag and applied it. She stood up and licked around her lips. Harry had to fight to keep the laughter inside me, as Dudley's breathing seemed to speed up. Harry seemed to give Hermione confidence she hadn't had all summer. Confidence to just be herself, flaunt herself and somehow try to love herself.  
  
"Well then?" She asked Dudley in a sultry honey tone. Harry held in more laughter he'd never seen Hermione like this. Never.  
  
"Okay" He walked up to his front door and opened it. "Mum, Dad?" He breathed, "Harry and his friend Hermione are here"  
  
Petunia came through from the kitchen then Vernon Dursley followed.  
  
"Hello" Petunia said in a sour voice, "When did that arrive?" Petunia asked, gesturing to the pink convertible,  
  
"Its Hermione's" Piers said loudly,  
  
"And where did you get the money from that eh?" Vernon asked brutishly  
  
"My parents are dentists, my grandma left me a significant amount of money. My cousins work in the divine right of cars garage in London. Put all of them together and voila!"  
  
"Oh right" Petunia smiled graciously,  
  
"I was just taking Harry here for a drive, and we thought we'd stop off and say hello and goodbye" She smiled, "See you around" She fluttered her eyelashes, and Vernon and Petunia said bye,  
  
"See you" Harry said,  
  
"Next year" Vernon said, he shut the door after Petunia had said one last bye to Petunia. Who obviously thought Hermione was a muggle, as she wasn't being cold.  
  
"Would you like my number Hermione?" Dudley asked,  
  
"Ooooh!" Hermione squealed, "I'd love it Dud." She said winking at him- she got her mobile out. She typed in My Dud, and left it on and passed it to Dudley to press okay and put his number in.  
  
"There you are" He said, "I'll be here until the 14th of September,  
  
"I'll be sure to visit you" She said, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and a very tight hug, their bodies contrasted hers skinny and his beefy.  
  
"Come on Hareeeeeee" She stretched his name out again, as a signal. She got in the car put her phone in her bag and her bag by her feet. Harry got in and shut his door. Hermione was still fiddling around trying to get her bag under the seat. He placed a finger on her chin and pulled her face up,  
  
"Mia" He said, low and huskily. He bent forward and placed a chaste kiss on her lips.  
  
"Harry" She said and pushed forward onto him, "Harry" She let out a soft moan, it was as Harry was pretending to kiss her with 'passion' he wondered how she knew how to make all the little sexual noises and positions she placed in the right places at all the right times. They let it deepen and Hermione was soon pushed back against the car, they pulled apart. "Oops, got a little carried away there" Hermione said giggling as she sat back down properly with a quick toss of her hair,  
  
"I... I thought... You were friends?" Dudley said angrily,  
  
"Yeah we are" Hermione said grinning,  
  
"But-"  
  
"Friends with privileges" Hermione said with a laugh,  
  
"See you around Duddikins" Harry said, the group around him laughed, and he gave them all death glares. Before Dudley could think up a witty reply Hermione had drove off.  
  
"That was hilarious" Harry said clutching his sides Hermione was laughing hard too.  
  
"Hilarious" She said wiping a tear away from the corner of her eye,  
  
"Means nothing though right?"  
  
"Nothing at all" She said laughing to cover up any silence. They soon got onto the M5 and were driving speedily. A few times Hermione blasted some nitrous oxide and sped past the few cars around.

* * *

This is mainly my "Vent out the ideas" fic. Where I can just bung any ideas I have without ruining any fics I like. This one is mainly because I now have an obsession with Hermione and driving hideously fast cars. Though when they get to Hogwarts it should turn more darker... Should. I do want this fic to end up being about an eating disorder, but i'm starting from the beginning. And it won't be all fun and laughs for Hermione and Harry, nor will there be a car crash. I hope you guys liked it. And will leave a review?! 17 pages on word so you must have ONE comment. Love Much! 


	2. The Lies

**I love you to the bones**

**Oreo69not96:** Hey ho, thanks for the review. It wasn't exactly a soon update but you know?  
  
**Eve Granger:** The skinniness is the whole plotline. Thanks for the review chicken  
  
Mantis Macabre: I'll try not to name drop, and not to write it so chronologically.  
  
**Imogenhm:** Thanks for the review.  
  
**Bob-the-bear:** I'm gald you like it so much. I'm looking forward to the plot totally, it's so different to regrets and many of my other stories.  
  
**Ana grl:** Yeah, I wrote this because no one seems to realize how many people E.D's affect and how many people love there E.D ( I know you don't and good luck to you stopping).  
  
**Black Betty:** Yeah, they do have a pretty serious personality change because ana isn't just a physical struggle of what you want and what you don't, it's a mind struggle, where you have to pretend to be happy when inside you find yourself so ugly you want to cry. It's tough to write down, this fic, is like my challenge.  
  
**Star no star:** Hey, e-mail me at if you want, it'd be nice to talk. And, yeah this fic was written because when I searched for ana fics only a few came up which annoyed me, it's as if ana is ugly, something to be ashamed of?  
  
**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling. The title is from Ana's song, by Silverchair. Download it!  
  
This is about an eating disorder. First things first, it may act as a trigger so if you have or are recovering from an E.D don't read on. Secondly, if you don't like how I've written this fic don't read. Thirdly, they are out of character. Finally, as I said last chapter, I have written this in a personal way, but suggestions would be loved much.

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"What _is_ that noise?" Molly Weasley shrieked from her placing in the kitchen,  
  
"Sounds like a car" Fred said, "Dodgy"  
  
"Very dodgy indeed" Said George,  
  
"Well go have a look you two" Mrs. Weasley said all flustered. She was trying to cook and the least of her worries was some stupid muggle coming around driving, probably trying to sell those ducks Arthur, Mr. Weasley was always on about, or those plugs and eclicity.  
  
"Righty oh Mum" They both said in time. Fred was wearing some distressed denim jeans and a dark green casual shirt with his sleeves rolled up and the first four buttons undone, George was wearing some distressed denim jeans that also had cuts in the knees and a black casual shirt, he had three buttons undone and hadn't rolled the sleeves up.  
  
"Look at that!" George said,  
  
"Swanky" Fred said as a pink convertible drove up their hill from Ottery St. Catchpole the village that their family lived near.  
  
"Eh up Fred?!" George bit his lip and grinned wonkily, "It's stopping"  
  
"What are we going to say to get rid of them?" Fred muttered  
  
"I haven't a _scooby_ my old china" George replied,  
  
"What have I told you about cockney rhyming slang?" Fred questioned,  
  
"You don't understand? Scooby doo is clue, and old china plate is mate" George said grinning,  
  
"I know what it means, just shut your north pal" Fred said laughing  
  
"What the_ hell_?" Harry asked from the bonnet of Hermione's car. He was sat on it and they'd stopped just outside the burrow.  
  
"What the hell!" George and Fred said at the same time as they saw Harry and Hermione,  
  
"Hello old chaps" George said, "Long time no see Hermy. Looking rather swish I see" He said in a swanky voice and he raised his eyebrows jokingly,  
  
"Not looking too bad yourself monsieur" She directed towards George then gave him a hug but tried to space her bony body away from him, "Nor you Freddy boy!" She laughed,  
  
"Where's the motor from then?" Fred asked,  
  
"Imported. My cousin Jack owns the divine right of cars garage and he did some work on it for me"  
  
"Jack Delaney?" Fred asked,  
  
"That's him" Hermione said, "How'd you know him?"  
  
"Got some business with him. We're going to some _partay_ with him Thursday night" Fred replied,  
  
"Is it a dinner do then clubbing?" Hermione asked,  
  
"Yeah" George answered,  
  
"He asked me to go to that" Hermione smiled, "I said I had Harry over and he said I could take him. I said I'd get back to him" She laughed,  
  
"You two should come" George said,  
  
"That would be cool" Harry said, "What business do you have with Jack then?"  
  
"We're going to buy a couple of motors off him for our new muggle business"  
  
"What is it?" Harry asked an eyebrow raised,  
  
"We own a bookies" George answered,  
  
"It would be you" Hermione said laughing,  
  
**"FRED, GEORGE!"** Ron shouted from the door, **"MUM WANTS TO KNOW WHO IT IS!" **Ron turned to go then did a double take, "Harry, Hermione?" He asked.  
  
Hermione ran over to him and pounced on him, giving him a huge friendly bear hug,  
  
"Hey" Ron said, him and Hermione had tried being together... It hadn't worked.  
  
"Heya" Hermione said and jumped up giggling,  
  
"Explanation?" George said, Hermione shrugged,  
  
"Why not knock Ron over?" Hermione said,  
  
"Is it just me," Fred asked, "Or are those horns coming out under Hermione's angel halo"  
  
"No, I see them too" Harry said,  
  
"Me three" George said,  
  
"And me" Ron added,  
  
"Yeah, yeah" Hermione grinned, "Where's Gin?"  
  
"Out with some muggle friends" Ron said scowling,  
  
"Ugh, don't **bloody** remind me!" Fred said,  
  
"Erm, why?" Harry asked,  
  
"She won't tell us anything about them. He got their cars done at Jack's place. Very fishy. All Jack said about them was that they had work done to their cars, and that they had a pretty nice motor."  
  
"Said that about mine too" Hermione said laughing,  
  
"Ginny will be back in about half an hour. She'll change into night clothes have a bite to eat then go driving off with this group of boys" George said,  
  
"I'm starving!" Fred said,  
  
"Me too" Ron said,  
  
"Me three" George said,  
  
"Me as well" Harry said,  
  
There was a pause,  
  
"Hermione?" Harry asked,  
  
_"What?"_ Hermione asked,  
  
"Aren't you hungry?" George asked,  
  
"Not really, I feel a bit sick"  
  
"You sure? You don't look that ill" Ron asked,  
  
"Well, I feel ill, alright? What is with the forty sodding questions?"  
  
"Nothing" They all said sheepishly,  
  
"No need to get uptight Hermy" Fred said,  
  
"We'll just wait for Ginny" Molly said,  
  
"What's for dinner anyway mum?" Ron asked,  
  
"There is a mix, dears. Salad, burgers, chips, the usual"  
  
"Salad!" Fred said, "What do you want salad for?"  
  
"Vitamins" Hermione suggested, "Iron"  
  
"What do you think vitamin pills are for?" George asked,  
  
"A low calorie snack" Hermione suggested again, trying not to sound too angry,  
  
"Shhhh" George said, "Let's serve up. Ginny should..."  
  
"Ginny's here" Ginny replied from the doorway, "Hey Harry, hey Hermione" She gave Hermione a hug and smiled at Harry, "Good too see you two, I'm out again tonight mum, just going to have a bite t-"  
  
"Eat and going to change" Fred finished for her, "We know!"  
  
"No need to have a scranny" Ginny said, Hermione raised an eyebrow, "What's up 'Mione"  
  
"Nothing" Hermione shook her head, "Nothing at all"  
  
"Right, lets eat" Molly said, "Dad couldn't make it tonight, work at the ministry"  
  
"Cool" Harry said, they were all digging in, Hermione took some boiled chicken, some green salad, and some carrots.  
  
"Good burgers" Fred said, as he finished his third or fourth bite.  
  
"Hermione, don't you want anything else?" Ginny asked,  
  
"No, I'm feeling rather queasy" Hermione replied,  
  
"Oh alright then" Ginny said, spearing as many chips as she could with her fork. She put them in her mouth, and Hermione watched Ginny's throat as the chips went down, watching it swell, then go back to normal. She picked at a few lettuce leaves and placed them over the boiled chicken. In between every mini piece of lettuce she took a sip of water.  
  
"Lovely chicken Molly"  
  
"Thank you dear, are you sure you wouldn't like anything else?"  
  
"I'll have some celery actually," Hermione said as she took a few sticks of celery. She munched on them whilst everyone filled themselves with sausages, pie, stew, chips, buttered peas, fat. She watched them, knowing the calories in almost all the foods they were eating.  
  
After they had all had their pudding, which Hermione had kindly refused. They asked for more helpings, and after they had finally reached their full, Ginny went upstairs and got changed. She looked very plain; she had some black Capri pants on and a white tank top.  
  
"Ginny, your friends are here!" Mrs. Weasley called from the bottom of the stairs, they had just beeped their car horns,  
  
"Hermione you **HAVE** to come out and meet them"  
  
"But-"  
  
"_No_ buts" Ginny grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her over to the car,  
  
The doors opened and a guy walked out,  
  
"Hermione?" He said, Hermione froze on the spot her eyes open wide.....

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Lil' Cliffie there, I enjoyed writing this chapter, point out any mistakes ina review, and feel free to give me suggestions. In fact TRY to give me suggestions .  
  
Thanks for all your reviews, and thanks for reading  
  
Love P.C 


	3. The Truth

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling. The title is lyrics from Ana's song by Silverchair

**My lil' warning:** This is about an eating disorder. First things first, it may act as a trigger so if you have or are recovering from an E.D don't read on. Secondly, if you don't like how I've written this fic don't read. Thirdly, they are out of character. Finally, as I said last chapter, I have written this in a personal way, but suggestions would be loved much.

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"What the fuck!" She shouted,  
  
"Listen Hermione," The guy said,  
  
"What's up 'Mia?" Harry asked,  
  
"You bastard" Hermione said, "How _dare_ you show your stupid face around here"  
  
"What?" Fred asked,  
  
"Let me explain Hermione" He said,  
  
"Go **suck** a knife Brett!"  
  
**"For fucks sake listen to me girl"  
**  
"Fine explain...." There was a long pause after Hermione said this; it was a very peculiar scene, Ron, Harry, Fred and George on one side with Hermione up the front. Then Brett, and a pile of guys, presumably that Hermione knew, with Brett up the front. Both groups were glaring at each other and Ginny was stood in the middle with her hands and arms outstretched, ready to stop Brett or Hermione, "I'm waiting"  
  
"In private?"  
  
"Why? Why do you need privacy? To explain why you used me? Why you treated me like a princess, and called me a wench behind my back? Fat? Fugly? A whore? Slut? Slag?" She looked at him, "Fuck you Brett, we can have all the privacy you bloody want, it won't change jack shit" With that, she stormed off past all their cars, to her convertible, she sat on the bonnet. There was a long silence, "Need more privacy huh? Buddy? Do ya'?"  
  
Brett opened his mouth to speak, but Hermione walked into the trees to the side of the Weasley's house, she stood by a large oak tree, with a thick trunk,  
  
"Right, 'Mia, listen to me." He paused, and she stood silent, "Okay. I know I said that. But I didn't mean it. It was so stupid I know. I, really, want you back."  
  
"You're with Ginny" She said simply,  
  
"I'm not really, we're friends with privileges"  
  
"What the **bullshit?**"  
  
"Yeah, she has other guys. We use each other. It's a purely physical relationship, she can string anyone along" He stopped and moved closer to her.  
  
She looked into his dark brown eyes, the eyes that had drawn her in at first, they reflected tiny pieces of light. He pulled some strands of hair from her face,  
  
"I miss you" Hermione said, "I miss having you beside me. I changed so much, I changed because I thought you'd love me more, but you never called me, texted me, you never did anything. I stopped _everything_ for you Brett. I'd do _anything_ to have you, _anything_"  
  
"You don't have to do anything, I like you whatever you do, however you are" Hermione blinked back tears and gave him a kiss on the lips. She pulled away and looked at him, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her furiously, he nibbled her bottom lip and she didn't hesitate to open her mouth and let him take her away in another one of his kisses. The ones that made her want him so much, need him so much.  
  
"I _need_ you," She whispered,  
  
He kissed her again, and their tongues resumed the battle,  
  
"We better go" He said, "I'm out tonight"  
  
"Doing what?"  
  
"You know what 'Mia" He said, smirking,  
  
"Just checking" She said perkily,  
  
"Do you want to come?"  
  
"I don't know, there's Harry, Ron, Fred and George. They don't know that much about this stuff, well Harry does. But... I don't know. I think it's too risky."  
  
"No, come, please, for me?" He finished with a grin,  
  
"Alright then" She said, "I'm going to have to speak to the guys first though. Is it Okay if they come?"  
  
"Yeah" He said, "Bring 'em along. You never know I might challenge you."  
  
"If you do, you're dead. Jake's just done my car"  
  
"Bring it bitch"  
  
"You just wait" Hermione said,  
  
They walked out of the trees and towards their groups.  
  
"It's okay. I understand now, I'm going to go out with those guys. Harry, Ron, Fred, George, you coming?"  
  
"I suppose" Harry said,  
  
"We'll be having words about this you know Hermione" Ron said before walking towards Hermione's convertible,  
  
"Jesus, who does he think he is, my _father_?"  
  
"He's just worried about you Mia" Brett said laughing,  
  
"Alright then" The twins said, nodding at the same time,  
  
"Where to then Brett?" Ginny asked,  
  
"Usual place" He nodded to Ginny, who got into his black spyder.  
  
"Where then Brett?" Brett leaned in and whispered in her ear. Hermione smield once he pulled apart. "I'll use my tracking system" She winked at him subtlely,  
  
"C'mon then, let's get this show on the road" Brett said and got into his car. There were five cars on the hill, four of Brett's gang and Hermione's.  
  
"Let's put some music on shall we?" Hermione pulled down the hills, "Let me think, the ramones, AFI, silverchair, trust company, avenged sevenfold, slipknot... Yeah a bit of slipknot" She tapped her finger on the stirring wheel, "Put track 6 on."  
  
"What's a slip knot?"  
  
"God knows what a slip knot is, but slipknot is a muggle band. No, no Harry put track 6 on, 7 is crap. I want wait and bleed on, in fact no put 8 on. My plague. Excellent song"  
  
She drove around a corner,  
  
"You okay in the back?" Hermione asked Ron, Fred and George.  
  
"Yep" Fred said,  
  
"Actually, stop" George said,  
  
"Why?" Ron asked, at the same time as Hermione slowed the car down,  
  
"Yeah George?" Hermione asked,  
  
"Reverse then turn down that road to the left we just saw"  
  
"Ok George" Hermione said, confused, she reversed quickly, past the road to the left by a few metres, then turned into it normally,  
  
"Have you got the keys?" Fred asked,  
  
"Yep, Ronniekins you're with me"  
  
"You _sly_ foxes!" Hermione shouted giggling,  
  
"What?" Ron asked, George jumped out of the convertible and walked over to a garage, he put a key in the lock, and went inside,  
  
"They have a car Ron, you're driving with George."  
  
"Ok" Ron said and got out of the car, George drove out in a white Eclipse.  
  
Hermione inhaled,  
  
"The bodykit on that must have cost a bomb!" Harry said,  
  
"It did," Fred said, "I got a better car though"  
  
"You keep telling yourself that" George said, through his open window, "We'll follow you"  
  
"Ok, but I'll be driving fast, we need to catch up, have you got Nitrous oxide?"  
  
"Yep, but I've only used it a few times." George answered,  
  
"Doesn't matter, it's late at night, not many cars on the road" Hermione said, "Right, head on the M5 down to London"  
  
"Actually, I'm going to get my car 'Mione," George stated,  
  
"Go on then Fred" Harry said,  
  
"Pull off only for petrol and engine problems, we're meeting at Jack's garage" Hermione said, "Got that Fred?" She shouted at the red metallic prelude that had just pulled out of the garage,  
  
"Yep!" Fred shouted his head poking out of his window,  
  
"Nice car!" Hermione said.  
  
She reversed out and drove off, Fred and George following.  
  
"Put number 23 on Harry" She smiled, "You're a darling"  
  
"So what are we actually doing?"  
  
Hermione put the nitrous oxide on they sped along. She held the shaking steering wheel as hard as possible, and saw that Fred and George had the initiative to do the same.  
  
"We're going to catch up with Brett, Ginny and the rest of that motley crew, then go do some street racing"  
  
"Oh ok, isn't that dangerous?"  
  
"Yes" Hermione said, there was a long pause waiting for silence, "I have lights under my car you know?"  
  
"I didn't know, that's cool"  
  
Memory by Sugarcult played gently on the stereo,  
  
"I love this song" Harry said,  
  
"You know it?" Hermione said shocked,  
  
"Memory by sugarcult" He said shrugging, there was a long silence, they passed Brett and Ginny's car,  
  
They drove for a while, occasionally being overtaken by cars, then they pulled back in front.  
  
"You like Mest too?" Harry asked  
  
"Yeah, how do you know all these bands?" Hermione questioned,  
  
"I haven't just changed my style you know?" Harry said,  
  
"I know"

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**Swt Chry 2oo5:** Here you are, new chapter! Enjoy, and thanks so much for the review.

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**Oreo69not96:** I had to put some crappy songs in =( Because, in this story Harry isn't really that into rock. You know who it is now . It's added a bit more of my storyline in. Thanks so much for the review.

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**Imogenhm:** Even more about her muggle life now, and a bit about Harry's. Hope you liked it, and thanks for all your reviews.

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**Angeloffear2006:** Well, you know who it is now. Thanks for the review.

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**Tamurl07:** Ahh, the friends with privileges refers to quite a bit of the story, and not just already mentioned couples.

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**Bob-the-bear:** An evil child! Oooh, the compliments just keep flowing, lol, seriously. Thanks for the review, and I updated soon because I was worried for your health with all those capitals in the review, lol!

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**Black Betty:** No one has noticed yet, I put the semi awkward hug in to show that Hermione was trying to distance herself from her friends. In more than one way, and to show that she is aware people may notice how thin she is. I'm going on the idea that she was already thin, not that she was fat or anything. Otherwise it would've been impossible to lose so much weight so quick. It wasn't Malfoy, I did think about it at one point in my head, but that is far too clichéd, plus you never know Malfoy might end up with someone else we know, besides Ginny.

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**Yaminy-grint4eva:** I understand what you're saying about telling Ginny, but it doesn't work with the plot... Yet. Thanks for the review, and your suggestion may be used but I'm not telling.

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Suggestions, reviews, ideas, questions... Put them in a review. Feedback is always fabbies. Thanks for all your reviews and for reading my ramblings  
  
{Passes out sugarfree gum}  
  
Mffins wouldn't be appropriate.  
  
Loadsa love P.C


	4. The Beginning of a Whirlwind Year

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are out of character. Thank you's are at the bottom

**

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**

**Chapter 4**

"Anyone?" Ginny asked, holding out her cone of chips to everyone. The group of wizards and witches, and the muggles, everyone took one except Hermione.

"Anyone would think you were anorexic Hermione. I never see you eat" Harry said jokingly,

"Fancy that" Hermione said laughing fakely, everyone laughed along except Brett who just stood there contemplatively.

They were watching some other people tune their cars.

"I'm going to have a quick check under my hood" Hermione announced walking over to her car,

"Same here" Fred said, "You going to come Ron?"

"Sure" Ron said following Fred,

"I guess I better too" George said, heading off to his car.

"Well, I might as well follow seen as they've all fucking left me!" Harry said, and went towards Hermione's car.

"Hey" Hermione said, "I don't really need to check under my hood, I just can't be fucked to hang around the old crew for too long"

"What is it with you and Brett then?"

"Old friends, old lovers" Hermione said, "Old, old, old."

"You seemed to make up with him quickly enough though"

"I know, we had good times together" Hermione said, "But, then, I thought we'd left all the shit behind"

"Why did you come here tonight then?"

"I don't know..." Hermione murmured, "I honestly don't"

"We could go?"

"Nah, we might as well stay now we're here." Her stomach rumbled loudly,

"I thought you weren't hungry"

"I'm not"

"But you're sto-"

"I told you I'm not fucking hungry!"

"Okay, calm down!" Harry said,

"Sorry, PMS" Hermione said, realizing how suspicious her outburst had just been.

"Ahh ok" Harry said, "Glad I'm not a girl" He shook his head,

"You want a race then?" Brett asked, "Tracks free until 11pm"

"You're on" Hermione said and smirked, "How much you wanna bet you win?"

"Fifty quid"

"Aww, you can bet more than that!"

"Hundred" He said, Hermione nodded,

"Hundred it is" She got in her car, "Wish me luck Harry" She gave him a peck on the cheek, "Friendly kiss" She said shrugging at his funny look,

"I could have more of them" He said smiling, Hermione looked at Brett,

"Problem?" She asked,

"No" He smirked, "I'm gonna fetch my car"

Hermione drove up to the starting line; Ginny was going to start the race. Soon Brett arrived. They were going around the usual track, nothing special. Because she was there first she had got the best placing, to the left, because their first three turns were left.

Hermione gripped onto the steering wheel, and stared to the right at Brett. He looked back at her and licked his lips, then blew her a kiss. Hermione didn't change her expression, it was the same stony cold glare, she'd had set on him for a long time already. Ginny put her arms up, and Hermione new this was one race she wasn't going to lose, because he owed her, and for so long she'd wanted to show him how much he hurt her. She clawed the steering wheel, foot resting just above the pedal. She raised her eyebrows, and as soon as Ginny's arms started to move downwards she put her foot on the pedal, reactions like lightning.

They were off, Hermione could see him in her mirror, he was close, but not so close he was up her arse. She hit the first corner at a decent speed, she hadn't turned into it quite right, but that was expected on her first race for a good long time. They were going down a straight stretch to the second corner; she blasted her nitrous oxide and shot straight down to the second corner. She knew Brett had hit his nitrous too late and was going to have to break his way around the corner. She pulled into the corner better than she ever could have imagine, and was soon at least 5m ahead of Brett and the gap between their cars was getting bigger. As she did this, she realized no matter how much she liked him, it would never work between them because he was a twofaced man whore.

She hit the third corner, her face set, she had one more corner then a huge straight back to the finishing line. She needed to keep in control, so she could beat him. She didn't know how her opinion of the situation between them could change. She guessed it was lack of food or something like that. She hit the fourth corner well and was onto the straight. She could hear Brett 10m behind her; she punched the nitrous oxide button as hard as she could. She felt the plastic smash into her knuckle, but she was happy to take her anger out on it. The rim was surprisingly hard and sharp; she stared at her knuckle, which had a small crescent shaped cut on it and a bruise. She wiped a single tear off her cheek as she crossed the finishing line. She slowed the car down, and reached into the glove department. She wrapped a bandage around her hands like a boxer would; she tucked the end into the already wrapped bandage and got out of the car. The blood had already soaked through. But she held her other hand painfully over it.

Brett had come in and was out of his car. He was in his pocket and he got his wallet out. He handed one fifty-pound note, one twenty, a ten, and two five pound notes over.

"There you are," He said and she held out her cut hand by accident, she quickly whipped it back and took the money with the other. He grabbed her bandaged hand, "What the fuck?" He said, her hand was still bleeding mildly, he touched it and she winced, not just at the pain from her cut, but also the acid in his touch,

"Punched the button too hard" She hid her face in the dark; Harry, Ginny, Ron, Fred and George ran up.

They all congratulated her and Brett gave her a look and walked off down a dark alley. She knew what he wanted but maybe, just maybe, she wasn't going to give it him.

"Me and Harry have to get back now," She said, there were murmurs of disappointment,

"You guys can stay" Harry said, they all brightened up a bit, and Hermione saw from the corner of her eyes, Ginny sneaking down the dark alley way Brett had disappeared down. They were only a whistle away from Hermione's house so they didn't have far to go. They all said bye, and gave each other hugs. They promised they'd owl and all the usual.

Harry and Hermione got into the car and they drove off. Hermione had put on some Scarling to take her mind off everything; their cover of Radiohead's Creep had just finished,

"Hermione?" Harry asked

"Yeah?" Hermione said,

"Are you okay? You sure have changed?"

"And you haven't, with all your evil tricks with the slytherins?"

"Well, yeah, but you just seem so... Different"

"People change" Hermione shrugged, and they pulled into Hermione's road. Hermione pulled the car over and they stopped. They got out. Hermione pressed the button to make the top come up, and then locked the car. They walked to the front door and Hermione let them in.

"Have you lost weight?" Harry asked,

"Yeah a bit, why?"

"You looked a bit skinnier that's all" Harry said,

"You saying I was fat?" Hermione questioned,

"No. I thought you were fine before." Harry said, "Can I get some food?" He asked, changing the subject, to a certain extent.

"Sure, help yourself"

"Want anything?" He asked,

"No thanks" She said, from the hallway, she walked into the kitchen.

"You haven't eaten all day," Harry said looking worried,

"I feel ill, I never really eat before my period anyway" She shrugged, "It's a girl thing" She nodded, and Harry nodded, lapping up yet another one of her many lies,

Harry made himself a ham sandwich. He sat opposite Hermione at the breakfast bar, on one of the stools,

"Sure you don't want an apple or anything?" Harry asked,

"Yeah I might have some celery" Hermione walked over to the fridge, and got herself a few sticks of celery,

"Is that all you ever eat?" Harry asked,

"Nah, It's my favorite food though. Which is lucky because it has no calories"

Soon, it was their last night before going back to Hogwarts. They'd been racing quite a lot, but no more kissing in front of slytherins. Or kissing at all. Harry and Hermione had got their head's badges. Ron had a girlfriend, called Gemma, or Gems, but Ron said he was going to dump her before going back to board. Hermione said this was heartless, but Ron said they were only fuck buddies anyway. Harry stayed out of it. Neither of them knew whether he had lost his Virginity or not, they both guessed seen as he never talked about it, that he hadn't.

"Bye Brett" Said Hermione stiffly,

"Don't I deserve more than that?" He asked,

"No" She said coldly, "You caused a whole lot of shit for me Brett and I can't be fucked" She walked away, and Brett stood there before Ginny made an advance on him, and as soon as her brothers weren't looking. They were back down an alley.

"Ready?" Harry asked,

"Yes" Hermione said, they drove back home talking about missing being away from school.

They went to bed as soon as they got home, though both of them sat awake for a few hours. Hermione stood up, she had a big slipknot t-shirt on and some over the knee socks, she walked down the stairs from her bedroom and crept along the corridor to Harry's, she knocked on the door as quietly as possible and walked in, gently shutting it,

"Couldn't sleep?" Harry asked and Hermione shook her head. He patted the space beside him, and Hermione got in with him. He was wearing some black boxers and nothing else. Hermione couldn't help but notice his muscles; she thought he was like something from a Calvin Klein underwear advert. At that thought she sort of zoned out. "You nervous about tomorrow?" Harry asked quietly,

"Yeah. What are people going to think of me? Just changing for no particular reason over the holiday?" She asked, she had changed for a reason, but people wouldn't know that. "I mean, I'm a slut"

"No you're not!" Harry exclaimed as quietly as someone can when exclaiming.

"I am Harry,"

"Don't be stupid, if you were a slut you'd wear different clothes, and right this minute we wouldn't be talking about you being a slut we would be fucking each other, and planning never to even mention it again,"

"Okay then" She hugged him, trying painfully not to get too close, even though she wanted a proper hug, even a kiss but that would mean getting too close. Which she just couldn't let happen, "Are you worried?"

"Yeah," He said, "I've changed a bit, and people might call me vain and all that" He chuckled,

"Nah, they won't. If anyone's the talk of the town it'll be me"

"Ah well. We'll get through it." Harry sighed, "I'm worried about Ron, I mean us two will have our own common room and shit, and he'll be stuck in the gryffindor one"

"He'll be fine, Ginny told me he's been owling Seamus and Dean a fair bit" Hermione said and shrugged from beside Harry, "I better be going anyway, we got to be up early tomorrow. Remember the plan? We drive over to Jack's garage for about quarter past nine, then he'll drive us over in my car to Kings cross, say bye and all that, then we're gone." Harry nodded to Hermione, Hermione continued, "Remember to set your alarm and all that daft stuff," She leaned over gave him a peck on the cheek, and got out from under the covers and tiptoed out of the room, she crept back upstairs and got into bed. Luckily she fell asleep soon.

She was awake at 8:20. She grabbed a white towel and headed downstairs to use the shower, her's was a bit dodgy it went hot and cold all the time. She shut the door and locked it, then turned on the shower and whilst waiting for the water to run warm she took off her underwear, t-shirt, and socks. She got under the stream of hot water and quickly cleaned all over her body using a sweet coconut scented shower gel. She then grabbed the coconut shampoo and washed her hair as quick as she could. She then put conditioner in and put a shower cap over the top, because of her long hair the conditioner didn't usually have that much time to work. She got a razor out and covered one of her legs in shaving foam. She carefully shaved it, being extra slow so she didn't cut herself. She then went onto the other one, and managed again not to cut it. She put the shaving foam and razor back, then took the shower cap of letting her hair fall down her back. She washed all the conditioner out and ran her fingers through her hair. She then turned off the water and got out of the shower. She dried herself with her towel and then used some moisturiser on her skinny legs and over her emaciated body.

She used the last of a sleekeazy's tub on her wet hair. She had about 6 mega tubs of sleekeazy's in her trunk, jsut so she didn't run out. She cleaned her teeth and then gathered her clothes up and threw them in the washing basket. There was a tap on the door, Hermione wrapped the towel around her body, and unlocked the door.

"Morning" Harry said, his hair was jsut as messy as always and he looked particularly cute in jsut his boxers, he had the towel in one of his hands. He smiled,

"Hey. I just finished up, sorry, my shower upstairs is shit so I used this one instead."

"Chill it's fine, I'll be out in about 15 minutes" He placed a hand on hermione's arm,

"Great" Hermione said, she walked down the corridor and ran upstair into her bedroom. She touched the spot wear Harry ahd touched her arm, whilst looking in the mirror. She shook her head and took her hand away. She'd got out a black pleated skirt, and a plain black tank top, along with her black ballet shoes. She put on a black padded bra, and put the tank top on top of it. She then put on a black thong, and slipped her skirt over the top of it. She then sat on her bed and slipped on her left ballet shoe, she bent over and did the ribbons up, which were extra long so they finsihed crissing and crossing jsut below her knee. She did her other shoe, then pranced over to her mirror pretending to bea ballerina. She did some mascara and eyeliner, blusher, and lip gloss. She looked at her partially dry hair,

"What the fuck?" She said, for some reason her hair was in little ringlets, it looked cute but it made her face look fat. She grabbed her bag and put all of her remaining make up in it. She ran downstairs, and knocked furiously on the bathroom door. Harry opened it in jsut a towel, Hermione looked at the water dripping down his body and had to try so hard not to reach over and wipe some off, he jsut looked so... Sexy, and so... Hot She walked past him quickly and picked up the sleekeazy's tub.

'Use on wet hair will result in ringlets, or corkscrew curls.' She read,

"Shit" She said sighing,

"What?" He asked,

"Look at my hair! It's all ringlets and it makes my face look fat"

"You look lovely 'Mione!" He said and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Gorgeous as always" He smiled at their reflection, thinking how they looked like such a good couple. "Leave your hair like that" He paused and looked at the reflected Hermione, "For me"

"Ok then" Hermione said, "Go get dressed or we'll be late" She grinned and Harry walked into his room, Hermione went downstairs, she put four slices of toast in the toaster. She got out butter and rasberry jam. Harry's favvourite flavor. The toast popped up and she put the slices into the toast rack and carried it to the table. She got out some pure apple juice for Harry, and poured herself a class of water. She wasn't in the mood for coffee. She got a slice of toast and put butter on it, she then peeled the crusts off, and left them on her plate along with crumbs, she left the knife in the butter, and a knife in the jam, then she put the slice of toast, except the crusts and crumbs, in the bin. Then it looked like she'd eaten she had jsut sat back down when Harry came downstairs. Hermione took a sip of water.

"Mm toast" Harry said and grabebd a slice, buttering it and spreading jam on it, "Oh you ate breakfast for once" Harry said,

"Yeah. Iw as surprisingly hungry" She said,

"Good good, sometimes I worry about you , you never seem to eat much" Harry shook his head and grabbed anoter slice of toast. He'd soon polished that off and was on his third slice, once he'd finished buttering and spreading jam. Hermione took the knives and put them in the washing up bowl. She put the lids on the butter and jam and put them in the fridge. Harry got a glass of apple juice. He drank that and finished his toast. He put the apple juice carton back in the fridge. He then put the crusts off Hermione's plate in the bin, he then put the plates and glasses in the washing up bowl. He and Hermione got up,

"What's the time?"

"8:45" Hermione said, "We should set off now in case we hit traffic"

"Ok," He said, their trunks were already in the boot of the car. "Come on then"

"Right," They went out of the house and Hermione locked the door. They got into the car, "Here we go, another whirlwind year at Hogwarts" Hermione said.

**

* * *

**

**Oreo69not96: **I love your fics how come you haven't updated for god knows how long? I love avenged sevenfold! Update soon ok?

**Megan: **It wasn't really a quick update, but I'll tyr update sooner next time. Thanks for the review.

**Black Betty: **Yeah, I suppose quite a lot of girls let there boyfriends push them around to much. It's a shame really. It is a bit of a crazy storyline, but it should settle down a bit now. I added the street racing in because otherwise I'd have to have that in another fic. And I have far too many already, I'm such a slow updater. Thanks for all your reviews, you're a star, and really faithful always reviewing and it means loads to me.

**Imogenhm: **No, I'm british but I love silverchair. Wasn't Daniel Johns anorexic? Are you Australian then? Thanks for the review.

**LadyPriestess: **There's going to be sex... Eventually. But in my experience people get pissed off if you mention drugs, have you never had that before? Thanks for the review and the suggestions.

**Yaminy-grint4eva: **I'm really sorry you were anorexic, I'm glad you got over it as well. Harry's slowly but surely noticing. She won't faint dancing but there should hopefully be some dancing? Update your stories soon because they rock!

**Amy: **Yeah, I use some of those excuses. I was seriously shocked at the lack of fics about anorexia. You'd think they'd be some more. If you ever want to chat though my e-mail is I have Msn too. That goes for everyone. I'm sorry I didn't update quickly, but thanks for the review.

**Star no star: **Yeah, awkward moments suck. I'm kind of chopping it around, I know I probably shouldn't have skipped so much of the summer holidays, but I really wanted to get down to the nitty gritty bits.

**Bob-the-bear: **Well, it wasn't soon but it's finally here. I love you so much, you're always reviewing my stories and it really means so much.

**Aiime Fay:** Yeah, I want to get down to Harry finding out about the disorder too. You do designs for cars? That sounds sooo cool. No one really street races in England. Thanks for your review and I'm glad you like my story.

**Rayanne Graff: **Well, at least you like my taste in music, I really value your opinion... not. At least most reviewers say why they don't like it, you just say you don't like it. Maybe when you tell me why I'll respect what you said a bit more?

Well, thank you for reading.

::Hands out muffins and sugar free gum::

Much love –P.C


	5. Fainting Fancy?

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are out of character. Thank you's are at the bottom

**Chapter Five.**

Nothing much happened on the way. They got to the garage. Jack got in, but Hermione continued to drive. She drove all the way to King's Cross. She got out of the car. She took the keys and opened the boot. She pulled both trunks out then shut the boot. She gave it a little pat.

"I'll miss you baby." She said to the car and passed the keys to Jack. She hugged him. "I'll miss you hon. Bye." She gave him a last quick squeeze.

"See you darling." He said and waved as her and Harry walked away. They passed through the barrier and got onto the train. Hermione panted form the effort of pulling her trunk. She slumped into her seat and pushed her head back against the seat trying to get comfortable. She curled her knees up and hugged them, waiting for the great red engine to jerk, and then start chugging away. She had a new device, called a magicman. It was a wizard CD player, in a small shop called "Meredith's magic muggle devices.". If you asked Hermione she thought the shop was a little too quirky, a little too cheerful, a little bit too… Well. She didn't know… Corny?

She pulled out the little CD played, and looked at it, she pressed the tip of her wand to the little white circle in the middle of it and murmured, "My chemical romance. I'm Not okay"

"What's that?" Harry asked, "You're not okay? What's up?"

"Nothing I'm fine. It's just a song I want on."

"What's that?" He asked and she growled, getting annoyed at his incessant questioning.

"Biformis" She snapped pointing at the magic player, she passed the second one to Harry. "Take a look yourself." She said, softer this time. She hadn't meant to snap at Harry, he was just curious… Mind you she never _meant_ to snap she just did. She turned the volume up full blast and let herself zone out in her little ball.

"Hermione" She heard faintly, "Hermione… Hermione……" The voice was calling, it was ethereal, she smiled. The voice was coming closer, and she saw a tiny, little fairy, she smiled at it again… then the fairy turned into a goblin that grew, and it grew into Ron. They were in the great hall, it was like a muggle ball, the boys in tuxedoes and the girls in cocktail dresses and gowns.. He was laughing at her, making gestures of her stuffing her face, then he shrunk into Ginny, who looked great in a small, tight, and very short cocktail dress who was laughing at her with Parvati and Lavender calling her fat, saying how she looked like a blancmange how huge she looked. She cried out. Then it was Pansy laughing at her, her hands by her hips going outwards as if she was showing how fat she were. She was taunting her. Calling her overweight. Then it was Malfoy's turn to jibe at her. He was calling her a mudblood. A fat whore. Obese. She whirled around. She cried. She called out. To anybody, anyone, somebody, someone to save her. She saw jet black hair, Harry's hair. She ran to him. He turned around and looked at her. He looked disappointed. He gave her a flower. But he looked disappointed, disgusted, appalled, revolted by her. He forced a smile. Tear fell down her face she screamed. Looking down at the body her head was on. He fat arms, stomach, thighs, calves, sausage like fingers. She cried, she could feel tears spilling down her cheeks making them burn.

She sat bolt upright. She was on the floor of the carriage with loads of people around her. Harry, Ron, Ginny, Malfoy, Parkinson, Zabini, Parvati, Lavender. She looked down at her body and breathed out. She was safe, she wasn't quite that bad yet. Someone thrust a tissue her way, Lavender and Parvati smiled down at her. They offered her a hand.

"C'mon we'll clean your make-up up." Lavender said, and the three exited the carriage. Hermione walked tidily along the corridor, using all her strength to just keep herself up. It couldn't go on like this could it? Without her make-up she looked like a corpse, without her padded bra she had no breasts, without her clothes she looked skeletal. Her hair was dull. Her skin was dull. Her eyes were dull. Her skin covered her bones like cling film. Yet, it was beautifully ugly. Just like she was an intelligent fool. None of it should have fitted together but it did, somehow.

"Come on, let's wipe away all this eyeliner and mascara." Parvati said,

"And we'll reapply some foundation and blush." Lavender said,

"Okay." Hermione said quietly,

The girls trimmed and preened Hermione until she looked good as new. They even did a spell for Hermione's curls to stay bounceable, and for her hair to shine.

"Thank you guys so much. For those spells as well." She said, with a weak smile.

"Are you okay Hermione?" Parvati asked,

"Yeah, do you want to tell us anything? I mean, you seem awfully pale and thin, and you fainted. I mean is it guy troubles… Or something?" Lavender said,

"No. It's just been an off-day today."

"Well we heard Harry Potter was at yours? How can it be an off-day with Harry to see smiling in the morning?" Lavender said,

"Yeah… He's sweet." Hermione murmured,

"Talking of Harry. We better get you back they were so worried… We all were. Even the slytherins" Parvati said,

"How come? I mean Zabini, Parkinson, Malfoy… I don't think so."

"I'm surprised you haven't picked it up Hermione. Houses are getting loads closer. Revnclaw and Hufflepuff and Gryffindor are really close. And slowly slytherins are starting to accept the fact eventually all this house rivalry will have gone." Lavender said,

"OK." Hermione said,

"What's the goss. Anyway?" Lavender asked,

"I don't know." Hermione said, she opened the door to the toilets of the train and strutted out. She'd been sat down and her energy had come back a bit. She passed the snack trolley and bought two sugar free red bulls. She opened the first one and downed it. She crushed the can in her hands and shoved it in the bin. She then started on the second one and gulped half of it down. She breathed then downed the rest. Then that can was in the bin. She knew she wouldn't feel the effect immediately. But she did an energizing spell. She stalked down the corridor a sneer playing across her lips, challenging anyone to say anything about her. She heard a whisper and whirled around,

"What?" She asked Dean and Seamus,

"Nothing. You okay?" Dean asked,

"Yeah." She said, and she was off again. She threw open her compartment door. She saw Ron, Harry, Ginny and Malfoy, Zabini, and Parkinson talking. Albeit, uncomfortably, but still talking. She was about to shut the compartment door when Harry's foot flew out and stopped it shutting. She looked at him. It didn't make sense had she just fallen asleep, was it not her and Harry pranking the slytherins, was it not the slytherins taunting her for the last six years? Maybe it was a dream.

Harry grabbed her hand and pulled her down. He meant her to land next to him, but instead she landed on him. She laughed. The spell was kicking in, and she could feel the red bulls flowing through her veins. Well not literally, but metaphorically she could. She giggled and kept her hands in his. Everyone looked serious, she laughed at their faces,

"What's up with you Hermione? What happened?" Ron asked,

"I thought it would be fun to see how long I could go without air…It went a bit wrong." She said giggling at her stupid excuse,

"SO you finally lost you mind?" Ginny said,

"Yeah… DUH! You blonde or something?" She laughed, then looked at Parkinson and Malfoy. "Errr Yeah, Sorry you two."

"It's fine." Pansy said smiling. She looked carefree on Malfoy's lap.

"Maybe a re-introduction would work?" Ginny said, "My name's Ginny Weasley. I'm in Gryffindor house."

"Blaise Zabini, I'm slytherin." He had a wicked grin, which was hard to miss.

"Pansy Parkinson. The same." She said smiling,

"Harry Potter. Gryffindor." He extended a hand to Malfoy and smiled dashingly,

"Draco Malfoy. I'm a slytherin" He grinned.

"Ron Weasley. Gryffindor house."

"Hermione Granger." Hermione grinned, "Or Mia. The secret hufflepuff." Everyone laughed, "No, bollocks to that. I'm Gryffindor." She laughed along with everyone else. Yes, so she was on a temporary high, the keyword being _temporary_, but that didn't ban her happiness. She'd just pretend it wasn't _temporary_.

"Well never try not to breathe again." Ron said, "You were mumbling about shipwrecks a, and fat and something about a ball." He said.

"Weird." Hermione said. She leaned back onto Harry. And he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Dean!" Ginny cried. Dean waltzed up to her, and gave her a peck on the lips. She moved and sat on his lap.

"Wanna go find some girls?" Ron asked Seamus,

"Hell yeah!" Seamus said, and the two exited shutting the compartment door. It was full of 'couples' except Blaise,

"No girlfriend then Blaise?" Hermione asked,

"No. I have one, Alexia Gemini. She's in our year, in slytherin. Long brown hair, reaches her butt, quite curvy, but in a sexy way."

Hermione held in a scoff. Like he thought it was in a sexy way. Thin girls were so much better.

"Are you two together?" Draco asked,

"No. Just friends with privileges…" Harry said,

"Cool." Pansy said,

Hermione looked at her, and realized her nose had gone! Well not totally, but she'd had it changed. A spell! It wasn't an ugly pug-like snout anymore and her hair was poker straight. She tried not to stare but it was gorgeous. She was so jealous of the stupid slytherin.

There was a long pretty uncomfortable silence. Pansy kissed Draco on the lisp and soon it was a full on make-out session.

"I'm going to find Lexi." Blaise said and exited,

Then it was Ginny and Dean's turn to start kissing.

Harry and Hermione stood up and left.

I'm sorry it isn't dark yet. Darkness will start next chapter. That isa promise.I just wanted a bit of happiness to make the depression... more depressed.

Thanks for all your reviews, they really made me write this chapter.

Love P.C


	6. Fake Smiles and Fake Feelings

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are quite out of character. Thank you for all your great reviews. Also I'm skipping the stupid train meeting, it's such a bore to write so I'm pretending it didn't happen. This chapter is a happiness overload, because I want Hermione to feel really great and then, wham, bam and it all crashes down. So be patient my pretties....

**Chapter Six.**

"Well, that was interesting eh?" Harry said, smiling. Hermione grinned back at him. "Look 'Mione. Sit down." He pulled her down across from him in a compartment.

"Oooh, if you look any more serious and grim Harry, I'll have to put you into the Snape look-alike competition!" Hermione exclaimed, smiling softly. Her smile faded as she saw that Harry's face didn't soften at all. She looked down.

"Hermione…" He said and pushed her chin up, "What's wrong with you? What are you playing at?" He looked angry, miserable, confused and bewildered all at the same time. "You weren't trying to see how long you could go without breathing. I saw you, you were breathing fine. You wouldn't do that anyway, because you would either already know what would happen, or you'd read it in a book. I've been your best friend for 6 years, I know you off by heart. Or at least I did before summer. What happened? Why did you collapse?" He looked flustered by the end of his questioning,

"What are you on about Harry? Stop being so bloody melodramatic and get with the fucking times." She looked at his face drop as she said this, and felt guilty but she carried on regardless, "Yeah, has six years not taught you anything? Nothing happened at summer. I would have told you if it had. Why would I lie to you anyway?" He looked depressed, and she smiled at him, "Precisely, I wouldn't lie to you. I'm hurt you suggested it." She saw his hands clasped together and she grabbed them for emphasis, she enclosed his hands in hers, "I wouldn't lie to you."

"Sorry." He said weakly, he was still confused. But he wanted to believe his companion so much, that he accepted her excuses.

The rest of the train journey whirled by. Soon Hermione, Pansy, Lexi, Lavender, Parvati and Ginny were all changing into their uniforms in the toilets. They were giggling, gossiping, and enjoying themselves.

"I've got an idea!" Pansy said with a wicked grin,

"Oh you better not be thinking what I'm thinking!" Parvati said,

"Let's customise!" Lexi and Ginny said at the same time,

The group giggled, Hermione slightly nervously but she grinned all the same.

"Right lets change into our uniforms then we'll customise." Lavender said,

"Ok!" Hermione said as enthusiastically as she could persuade her voice to sound. Within four minutes they had their uniforms on. No rolled up skirts, adjusted shirts or anything, and quite frankly they looked boring. But what was running through five of the six girls head was much bigger than a few rolls of the skirt, and a bit of shirt tightening and bracelets. It was full on 'girl-power' attack.

"Right. Wands at the ready!" Parvati said in such an uncanny impression of Prof. Sprout that Ginny squeaked and turned around. Everyone laughed remembering the unfortunate incident with the show and tell plant day…

"There we are!" Pansy exclaimed as Hermione pleated skirt turned into a very short and tight straight one.

"Ooooh! I'll get you back for that!" Hermione said, and Pansy's skirt shortened to an almost obscene length. Soon spells were flying everywhere. And by the time they had finished they looked almost exactly as they wanted too. There was a few finishing touches made to the clothes.

Ginny had a short straight skirted pinafore on, and her shirt was extremely tight. She had a pair of stilettos on to rival Narcissa Malfoy's and some wide holed fishnet tights. Ginny also had gold bangles up and down both her arms and theall of thegirl's hair still needed to be done. Lavender had a straight skirt, with a little slit up the side her shirt was on very tight, and the bottom buttons were undone showing her belly bar, she also had a pair of very high heeled school lace ups on her feet and a long silver necklace. Parvati had a Britney Spears style knot in her shirt, her jumper was around her waist and her skirt was pleated, and of course very short she had some pointy toed shoes on with small-ish stiletto heels and blac patterned tights. Pansy had her shirt on extremely tight it had three quarter length sleeves and big green button on the arms, and a green snake on the back, she had a straight grey skirt on, like Lavender's but it was shorter, tighter but no slit and some over the knee socks with a three green stripes along the top she wore some extremely high heeled school shoes with platform fronts too. Lexi had a pleated pinafore on, some heeled Mary-Janes, which were slightly boring except for the cherries on the side she had her school and was the only one not wearing her appropriate house tie normally, she had it tied around her waist she wore skate trainers. Hermione had on a skirt exactly the same as Pansy's, a shirt exactly the same but that had big red button on the sleeves, and a lion on the back. Hermione also had socks on like Pansy's, but with red stripes around the top she had platform Mary-Janes on, though despite the height she was still short, she also had a studded belt on. All the ties worn normally were shorter than usual too.

"Oh my GOD!" Hermione exclaimed, plucking at her socks.

"We look such sluts!" Lexi said, everyone giggled.

"Let's do Hair!" Parvati said and they all got to work.

Lexi ended up with two long plaits but at the top bits were coming out and she looked really good for it too, on Parvati's hands whilst she was plaiting, the girls noticed there was a ring on every one of her fingers, they laughed at this too. Pansy had her short bob down as usual, with her necklace showing.

"Let's make you and Pansy twins!" The girls started saying, and before Hermione knew she had a short bob, that was sleek, smooth and shiny just like Pansy's. Hermione and Pansy looked in the mirror and both laughed, despite feeling different inside. Pansy was glad she finally had some girlfriends to confide in and gossip with. Hermione thought she looked fat. And her jealousy for Pansy's confidence, for her body shape was churning inside. Whilst they were gazing into their reflections in the mirror the other girls worked on their hair.

Ginny had her shortish red hair in two low pigtails, and they found out Ginny had a pair of huge silver hoop earrings in replacement for her silver moon shaped studs. Parvati's black hair was in one long plait which had a huge ornamental star at the bottom. Lavender's now blonde hair was in an extremely high ponytail with some of the layers falling out, and her tie was moved from her neck to tied around her head like an Alice band with hair spilling over it.

They then moved onto make up, they all had lots of lip-gloss on, blusher, foundation, eyeliner and lashings of mascara. They all grinned. Then Lexi told them a spell to give them whiter teeth. They all used it a few times and posed. They snapped a picture of each other and a few crazy group photos.

"Everyone ready?" Pansy said, leading the group like the natural chief-ette she was.

"Yep!"

"Who wouldn't be?"

"Of course!"

"Go for it!"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Mumbled Hermione aside from all the enthusiastic responses,

They got off the train with their trunks and piled into a carriage without managing to show too many people there attires. They got out of their carriages last, and saw everyone looking at a notice on the great hall door. They headed over as a group behind the crowd, managing to keep a low profile. They got to the notice and read,

_Students, _

_Considering the new development of much-needed interhouse relationships, we,theprofessors have decidedat feasts, balls and banquets you may now sit at any of the four tables, regardless of house. This does not mean tables are mixed at normal meal times though. COngratulations in your breakthrough on inter-house friendships. _

"See. I told ya so Mia!" Said Lavender, the group of girls were now far behind.

"Hurry up we don't want to be too late. We'll miss out on seats!" Pansy said and dragged the two nearest girls by their arms inside, the others followed; Hermione and Pansy were now linking arms much to Hermione's surprise and slight distaste. She knew people would be comparing her and Pansy.Hermione only then noticed her false nails. She practically shrieked, but they had just entered the great hall. Everyone was looking at them and Pansy smiled sexily, through her teeth she hissed, 'smile' to Hermione. Hermione plastered a fake, and hopefully mysterious grin on her face. Pansy was winking at a few people. Snape looked like he didn't know what hit him. (A/N Not in a pervy way you sickos! Teehee!) Minerva McGonagall was about to explode and Dumbledore was twinkling like sodding usual. Hermione looked to see Harry sat with Ron, Seamus, Blaise, Draco and Dean. They of them sat down next to a guy. It went Draco, Pansy, Hermione, Harry, Parvati, Seamus then opposite those were, Ron next to Lavender, Ginny with Dean, and Lexi with Blaise.

It was at this point Hermione knew it was going to be difficult to hide her... Difficulties with food.

Well.... I'm pleased with that, I quite like the girly gang it's quite original. I think I might do a story about that. I have decided that I am going to try to tie this storyup along with a few others. So, I cna have some completed stuffto my name.

Thanks for all your super dooper reviews :)

Love to you all!

-P.C


	7. Secret Keeping Dolly

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning/Notes:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are out of character. Thank you for all your great reviews…They mean so much. The couples at the moment are Blaise/Lexi, Dean/Ginny, Ron/Lav, Seamus/Parv, Harry/Mione, Draco/Pansy, but some aren't together yet, and I'm not saying we're going to focus in on them all. To fans of regrets, I will update soon, I'm just kind of, taking a mini-break. And Amy, I said I was going to base a new fic around a few aspects of the story, for one the girly gang, not do fics adjoining to this… Well I don't think I am. Never know how it'll turn out. Anyway, let's get on with the show!

**Chapter Seven**

The group listened as Dumbledore talked of relationships between the houses, the year, the conquers, the old fears, the happiness of the riddance of Voldemort. Hermione listened to his words, watched him smile, twinkle and show-off. _Stupid old fool_ she thought. Soon the food appeared on the plates. She looked at the chicken imagining it was riddled with arsenic; she looked at the pumpkin juice visualizing that it was spiked, she looked at the chicken, pork, and god knows what else imagined it had needles inside. Everything was there to harm her. She got some dry salad, she picked out the tomatoes and declined Blaise's offer to some dressing, also Pansy's offer to mayonnaise, Parvati's offer of salt, Ron's offer of Pepper, Lavender's offer of salsa, Dean's offer of honey-mustard dressing, after all that someone else was about to shove something else fattening and disgusting her way,

"I'm fine!!" She said loudly making a few heads turn, "I don't need any dressings, sauces, coverings, seasonings or relishes of any sort. Dry salad is fine. Thanks." She put a cocky smile to the end and looked at her plate pushing the salad about a bit.

"But you've only had one mouthful!" Ginyn exclaimed,

"Who are you to examine my eating habits?" She questioned hotly, Ginny looked hurt and Seamus wrapped a comforting arm around her.

"We're just worried" Seamus said, "You can't just eat salad."

"It's negative calorie food you'll put no weight on?!" Pansy said,

"Oh… You think I don't know. Look I'm fine. I just fancy salad."

"Fine…" A few people said, everyone else just ate giving her a weird look. She felt singled out, and all alone. Tears started to form in her eyes, she felt that heavy feeling that signified she was about to burst into tears. She felt her eyes welling up and looked down, letting her bob cover her face. Everyone soon returned talking about the stunt they pulled off. Harry squeezed Hermione's knee softly, to show some support. She looked up, her eyes were shining with moisture, and he opened his arms for a hug. She fell into them easily, and she rested inside them. They stayed like that for a minute. Then pudding appeared and everyone busied themselves with food. Hermione sat with an empty pudding bowl watching the treacle tart, buns, cakes, and other delicacies be eaten. She sighed heavily, and Harry turned around,

"Been a long day eh?" He asked, among the rest of the gang's chatters,

"Yeah… Awfully long. I just want to go to bed and sleep." Her shoulders sunk even lower as she spoke, and her eyes seemed dull.

"You look kind of ill and peaky. And awfully thin, are you sure you don't want something more to eat?"

"No."

Soon the feast was over, Harry and Hermione had lagged behind to speak to Dumbledore.

"We want to thank you Professor." Hermione said,

"For this opportunity" Harry added, "We love our badges."

"God don't sound too much like me Harry!" Hermione said laughingly, and Dumbledore and Harry both chuckled heartily,

"I'll show you two your dormitory then." He said and quickly stride towards presumably the dormitory, they followed dutifully. "Did you enjoy your holiday together then?" Dumbledore asked as they moved,

"Yeah," Hermione said,

"Yeah. It was so much fun!" Harry said with a gleeful smile on his face, "We did loads of cool stuff."

"Nothing illegal I hope." Dumbledore said, and turned around and gave Hermione and Harry another of his twinkling, mischievous looks,

"Course not." Hermione said, trying to sound disapproving and doing a good job.

Dumbledore smiled,

"The password is?" He asked the portrait of a girl with a wreath of white daisy's in her hair,

"Daisy-child." She murmured in a soothing voice,

"Not breaking with tradition yet then?" He asked the portrait,

As they entered the room, they felt awed. As always, it was extravagant like the rest of the castle. A small shelf of books was in one of the corners, plush black leather sofa's, and other homely attributes were around. In the middle of the far back wall was a stairway leading up into darkness, or so it seemed.

"I'll leave you two to explore." Dumbledore said, and with a quick, light bow of his head he exited.

Hermione ehaded upstairs and saw a door directly opposite as she entered. She looked down the hallways and saw two more doors, and to the other side another two. She opened the one in front of her and inside was a gleaming white and gold bathroom, the bath was a sunken pool in the middle of the room. A shower stall was curved in the corner. There was full length mirrors all along the left hand side wall except for one door, on the rest of the wall was gleaming white tiles except for on the right wall where there was also a door leading out. She went into the right hand side door, and saw she had entered Harry's room. She saw his trunk, and an extravagant red silk bedspread, with a mahogany four poster. She then went back through the bathroom, and saw Harry,

"Wow. It's a bit grand eh?" He said,

"Yes. Extremely. That's your room back there" She nodded back with her head. "I think this is mine and the other two are spares I reckon."

She entered through the other door, into what was now her room. It had a crushed red satin bed sheet. With goldish yellow pillows and grand mahogany drawers, wardrobes and a dresser. She looked at the full length mirror with mahogany stand and frame and sighed at the vanity of the world. At the vanity of herself.

Both she and Harry's rooms were in an L-shape, so the doors to the exit of their rooms were at the end of the top floor corridor. She exited at the end of the corridor and entered another room through the other door. She saw plain white sheets on a simple bed; the room had a white shag pile carpet, and white walls. It was quite modern with glass bedside tables and stainless steel lamps on them. It looked a bit too clean but it was still nice. She noticed it had a little door, and entered to see a white bathroom with silver taps. It had a shower, toilet and basin in it. She then exited and went into the other spare bedroom that was exactly the same but on Harry's side. Presumably these were for when/if they had friends over.

Hermione entered her room and went over to her trunk.

"Routify" She said and flicked her wand, all her clothes exited the trunks and flew into drawers and onto hanger. The wardrobe door shut loudly once all was in place. She went over to the dresser and went through one of the draws. She got out some big black baggy pyjama bottoms and a black tank top from the draw underneath the first one. She threw them on speedily and got the pile of clothes she had worn that day and dropped them into the washing basket by one of her cupboards. She checked her cupboards for her books, quills, etc. and found them all. She then got her toothbrush out of her trunk and some toothpaste. She walked into the bathroom and started to clean her teeth. She finished and opened the mirror above the sink, like the Gryffindor girl's dormitory one and put her toothbrush in the white cup in there. She then got out "Melinda's magical mouthwash" and opened the lid. She poured some of the sea blue liquid into the lid and gargled it in her mouth she spat it out and turned the tap on to wash away the remnants. She put the bottle back in and was just about to shut the mirror when she felt some warm arms around her waist. She shut the mirror and saw her ugly reflection with Harry's beautiful one behind.

"Hey." She said, and saw him smile. She turned round and hugged him. He had some dark green and white tartan baggy pyjama bottoms on that looked at least a size or two too big, and no top. He was exposing his muscular bronze chest and she pulled away and looked at it. It was gorgeous, and it matched so well with his beautiful green eyes, and handsome facial features, she sighed against him, why would a guy like him be interested in a fat, ugly girl like her? He wouldn't. She pulled away.

"Thanks" She said quietly,

"For what?" He said,

"Not asking too many questions." She said gently. She gave his hand a squeeze and exited.

"It's fine. Goodnight." He said gently, "But you can' go on like you do. Eating hardly anything and snapping at people constantly."

"I'm sorry. G'night Harry." She said, and they exited opposite each other into their bedrooms.

…………………………

Hermione lay down in her bed. It was her second month at Hogwarts. Her seventh week, and one day. It was Sunday today. She was now making herself sick at least once a week, just so people could see she was eating, she'd fainted another ten times. Her tenth time was today, Harry said if she fainted one more time again, he'd physically pick her up and take her to Madam Pomfrey. All of the group were now in relationships besides Hermione and Harry. Not that Hermione and Harry didn't feel a connection. Hermione just couldn't get too close to anyone. Because ana came above everything. She sat back up and ignited a candle. She stood in front of the mirror and lifted off her tank top, she removed every item of clothing and stared at herself. She now looked emaciated. It wasn't just cling film skin, it was skin hanging off her. Her eyes looked sunken. She was surprised she was still alive. Her bones looked so thin, so brittle. She was like a twisted doll, about to break. It had started out wanting to be like a Barbie doll. But she soon found out it was impossible to be Barbie, her measurement were so small, and perfect that it was impossible to be them without dying. But if she had to die, she had to die. At least she could be perfect in death.

Her arms looked so stick-like that she was afraid to touch them as they might snap. Just a fly landing on them could cause a fracture, or so it seemed. It was twisted, her view of herself was so tainted. She thought she was obese! Or did she? She didn't really think that. She just conned herself to believe that, but she didn't. She just kept lying to herself praying that eventually she'd believe it. She could see she was the thinnest girl in the school by far. Yet she wasn't the happiest, she wasn't the prettiest, she wasn't the most content. In fact she was probably the ugliest, most depressed and most uncomfortable. She was sick of lying, but she couldn't stop. She couldn't eat. She walked around the hallways like a ghost, haunting the place. She wasn't herself anymore. And the change certainly wasn't for the better. But how can you stop yourself when you've already pushed yourself down life's long helter skelter?

You can't, sure you can grasp the sides; try to stop yourself hitting the rock bottom. But it's almost impossible to climb back up, and it's so much easier to just let yourself slide down. Of course Hermione had had days where she'd sat down at the table, picked out some chicken, some chips, some peas, some rice, some curry, something normal and said to herself in her head: _Right Hermione, this is it. You are going to change if not for yourself, for everyone around you, your parents, your friends, for Harry. _And she had sat down and eaten. But then the weight in her stomach. The bloated-ness. She couldn't take it. She'd moved an inch of her climb back up, yet it was harder than slipping a mile down and down the slide. And she'd given up.

And she couldn't climb back up now.

Her hope had gone.

……………………..

Yay! Some depressed-ness for you all! I'm sorry I skipped a bit… but it would've been boring writing. Next chapter is going to be fab! (Hopefully). People are oing to find out. Now Hermione at the moment is seriously… Sickeningly think. Like practically just bones, ok? I tried to describe that I think I did a pretty good job but I just wanted to clarify. K? Hope you liked it, leave me a review, and tell me how I can improve and which bits you like most so I can improve my general writing and your reading pleasure :)

Much love especially to my reviewers :)

-P.C


	8. Secrets Out, Dolly

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning/Notes:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are out of character. Thank you for all your great reviews…They mean so much. The couples at the moment are Blaise/Lexi, Dean/Ginny, Ron/Lav, Seamus/Parv, Harry/Mione, Draco/Pansy, but some aren't together yet, and I'm not saying we're going to focus in on them all. To fans of regrets, I will update soon, I'm just kind of, taking a mini-break. Hermione 'n' Harry Head boy/girl Own dormitory. I want to take the time to dedicate this fic to Black Betty, Fehlerhaft, and Amy. B.B because you're always giving me good idea's, compliments and constructive criticism, but not too harsh. Fehlerhaft because I get the impression you've experienced some of this before and you review all my stories, Amy because you mean so much to me, and I know you go though this shit everyday, I love you all. I also want to send out love to all my reviewers, I love reviews, I'm a reviews whore. Anyway, onwards with the fic!

**Chapter Eight**

Harry lay in his bed and stared up at the Gryffindor red canopy. He let his thoughts reel inside his head, he was worried… Very worried…

_Hermione's changing/changed again. At the start of the summer holiday's when we said goodbye for a few mere weeks, she was a uptight, bookworm… In a good way. Then she seemed to have let her hair down when I stayed over at her's in the summer. It was for the best, I mean sure she must have changed for a reason, but she had a new car and was hanging out with her cousin and other friends. That probably was what made her change but now she's back at school… Everything's so difficult to think about. She always goes to the toilet to put make up on after dinner, and spend ages in here and comes out with a bit of lip gloss on. I mean okay, that's no biggie, but she's changed her eating habits too. I don't want to pressurize her too much, but she's either stuffing her face like Ron and Lexi do, or she's hardly eating anything at all. She gets stressed easily and she's fainted millions of times. Okay, that's exaggerating but at least ten. Everyone's worried about her. Pansy keeps getting stressed and upset about it, she really cares about 'Mione. You know? So do I, so does everyone. She's drawn into herself too… She seems too, I dunno?_ _Quiet. Too timid. Too un-Hermione._

_I mean, she's been my best mate for so long. Ron used to like her, and then he went off her, and now I do. She doesn't seem to comprehend the fact I do, she ignores all the little moments we have, pretends they never happened. She ignores all the group's hints. Maybe she just doesn't like me? But, I don't know, we seem to connect, and she always gives me little looks, little smiles, little bats of her eyes, little movements, little gestures, little surprises, little touches, just to let me know she's there, just to let me know she cares, just to get me to notice her._

_I'm so confused, we've shared so much and I don't want to ruin it by trying something on with her. But how long can I ignore it for? Theses days she's more spontaneous than I am. Maybe it's just her growing up… But I thought she'd already done that._

………………………….

Hermione woke up and rubbed her eyes. The sun was just rising, _that makes it about 7:45 AM_, she thought. She sat up, she had black t-shirt on, and some red baggy pyjama shorts on. She got up, her bones cracked as she stood up, and her muscles ached. She walked through her spacious room and knocked on the bathroom door. No-one answered so she entered. She walked around the sunken bath and popped her head around Harry's door. Harry had the sheets wrapped around the bottom of his body, and he was laid to the side. His arms flung out, his hair a mess. He opened his eyes and smiled at Hermione,

"Mornin'" He croaked,

"Mornin'" She said smiling tightly, "I'm gonna use the bathroom k?" Harry nodded and shut his eyes.

Hermione pulled her head back around and shut the door. She then started to undress; she couldn't help but to look at herself in the mirrors opposite. She smiled pitifully at herself and at her body. _How can you love and hate yourself at the same time?_ She thought, _suppose the books are right yet a-fucking-gain, it's not just a physical disorder it's a mind disorder too. Oh well…_She sighed and walked over to the shower, she turned it on, and the water magically came out. She walked in and shut the door. She let the hot water run over her cold skin. She grabbed one of the gold pumps of cream. She got some vanilla scented shower gel and sponged it over her body. She wondered if she'd ever be able to love herself properly. She felt like she wanted to cry, but she was too tired to even cry, she felt almost too tired to breath. Her pulse seemed slow, and her breathing to quiet. She was always light-headed, always hungry, always thirsty no matter how much water she drank, she was always ill, her muscles always ached, her joints swelled up regularly, her hair was falling out, her teeth slowly decaying, the 'time of the month' never seemed to come, and she was constantly cold.

She started to wash her hair, and she cleaned the cinnamon shampoo out, she then cleaned out the conditioner. She dried her hair and saw the strands in the towel, a tear slipped down her face. If anything hurt a lot, it was her hair falling out; she'd always had a problem with her hair until summer. When she got it sorted. She'd only just been given the privilege of being able to be proud of her hair when it was ripped away from her by ana. But she frequently thought to herself, _Ana comes above everything. _She wrapped the towel around her body and cleaned her teeth quickly. She gathered up her clothes, and popped her head around Harry's door.

"I'm done now" She said with a smile,

"K. Thanks hun." He smiled and she shut the door. That was definitely a sign they were hanging out with the slytherins too much. They were always calling each other honey, hun, sweedie, and that sort of stuff. She went through the bathroom and into her bedroom. She looked through her drawers. Pansy had told them last night over dinner that the next day, or today, would be another 'slutday'.

Hermione put on a skirt that had a small straight part at the top all the way around then it started to pleat. and did a spell to make it tiny. She then put on an extremely padded bra and threw an extremely tight white shirt over it. She put on her tie and knotted it so it was loose and was very short. She then put on a thick silver bangle on her left arm and a collection of about 40 thin silver bangles on her other arm. She walked over to the mirror, and neatened up her bob, and did some spells to make it dry, and then some to make it shiny and have some volume. She put on some heavy black eyeliner, a lot of foundation and some blusher. She then started doing her mascara, she was just on her fourth coating when Harry came in.

"Oh. It's another one of those days." He said grinning,

"No, I normally dress like this" She said jokingly,

She finished her eyeliner then put on some 'lip injection gloss', which Pansy had given her. It tingled but she pouted and grinned at Harry.

"Perfect." He said, "I really like your hair like that by the way.

"Thanks." She said and put in some big silver hoop earrings. She opened her dressing table drawer and got out some over the knee plain white socks. She put them on then grabbed her platform Mary-Janes from where they were neatly placed in the cut out section for her knees in her dresser. She put them on.

"Ready?" Harry asked.

"In a sec." She said. She put her towel and clothes in her washing pile, made her bed and went over to her wardrobe. She then got out a medium sized black handbag. She put in some of her parchment and quills of her desk. She then chucked in her mascara, foundation, blusher, eyeliner and two tubes of lip-gloss, the one from pansy and a pink one too. She then put two of the three books she needed into her bag and carried the other in her arm. She hitched her handbag onto her shoulder looked around the room. She quickly bounded over and shut her wardrobe door. "Ready." She said.

They made their way to the hall. They saw Draco and Pansy kissing by the entrance of the great hall. Draco had Pansy pinned against the wall, and it seemed to be getting a little steamy, Hermione grinned at Harry evilly,

She put on her bets McGonagall voice and stalked up to Pansy and Draco, "Mister Malfoy and Miss Parkinson if you would please stop making a scene and go in and have breakfast this minute and ten points from slytherin for your indecency!" She said sternly. The two looked up from where they had been staring at their shoes guiltily,

"Wait a sec. They aren't McGonagall's…" Pansy said and she and Draco looked up.

"'MIA!" They both shouted, Harry stood beside her and they all giggled,

"What's all the laughing about?" Said Dean, as he, Ginny, Seamus, Parvati, Ron, and Lavender walked up.

"Just Hermione's uncanny impression of McGonagall." Draco said laughing.

"Ahh right…" Blaise and Lexi said as they walked up, Blaise had his arm around Lexi's waist. The girl's all looked at each other and smiled.

They all walked in and moved to their respective tables reluctantly. Hermione sat and drank a black coffee.

"You never have breakfast!" Ron said,

"I know. We've been through this before Ron… I just can't stomach it."

"I don't know how the pancakes are delish!" Ron said, waving the scent of pancakes towards her,

"Oh sod off Ron" Hermione said jokingly.

Soon they had all finished. The gryffindors looked over to the four slytherins and got up to go to the entrance hall.

……………………………………………….

When they were all out, Draco spoke up first,

"Double potions for me next, who else has got that?"

"Me."

"Me."

"Me."

"Me."

Said Hermione, Harry, Pansy, and Blaise.

"We've got divination." Said Lavender and Parvati,

"Free period." Said Ron, Seamus and Dean,

"Oooh. Me too!" Said Ginny.

"Oh, good good." Said Dean, and wrapped an arm around Ginny.

"I've got potions too!" Lexi said,

"Ok." Blaise said, and all the departing couples gave themselves a kiss. Hermione leaned against one of the walls. She could feel her light-headed-ness, but she refused to let herself faint. She rubbed her forehead. She sank down the wall and was soon sitting, no-one had noticed yet she thanked God. She tried to get up but feel back down. She felt dizzy; she couldn't stop herself much longer. She needed water. She looked through her handbag beside her. She couldn't see she tipped it upside down, trying to look normal. Her books and everything clattered out. She had no bottle of water. This was it she couldn't stop herself any longer. She hit the floor with a bang.

"'Mione!" Pansy screamed. She ran over. Pulled her wand out, "Enervate!" Nothing happened, Harry pulled his wand out, along with Draco too, and the three of them said at the same time,

"**ENERVATE!**" Nothing happened.

It was serious. It wasn't just fainting.

Hermione put two fingers to her neck, everyone crowded around, and Harry and Pansy were crouched beside her.

"What are you doing?!" Lavender cried out worriedly,

"Checking her pulse!!!" Draco exclaimed,

"It's too slow! Pansy said, "And too faint. We need to take her to the medical room… And quickly at that!" She said,

"Right." Harry scooped her up,

"Need any help?" Blaise asked,

"No she's light as a feather." He said, "She's underweight by the feeling of it."

"Curious." Pansy said. They started to run towards the medi. Wing.

They got there, the group of them. Harry put her into a bed.

"MADAM POMFREY!" Harry bellowed, "Come on you daft bitch." He mumbled tapping his right foot rapidly,

"Is the school on fire?"

"No. But 'Mione's fainted! And she won't wake up. Not even with the enervation spell!" Pansy exclaimed,

"Which lesson is she meant to be in?" Madam Pomfrey asked,

"Potions." Said Blaise and Lexi at the same time,

"Ok, I suppose you two are too?" She asked the pair of them, they nodded quickly,

"You got to your lessons tell Professor Snape, that Mister Malfoy and Potter are in the medical wing with Miss Parkinson and Miss Granger." She looked flustered, "All of you except you four may go. Tell your teachers to come to me if you Professor's try to take potions."

"We have a free period Madam Pomfrey, may we stay?"

"No! Your free periods are for studies now get out from under my feet! Before I deduct house points!" At this, Ron, Seamus and Dean scuttled out miserably.

"Right. I'll try a potion." Madame Pomfrey said, "I'll have to inject it though." She strode quickly to her office and came out with a bottle of potion and a needle.

She poured the liquid into the needle, she then picked up Hermione left arm and move the bangle she injected it into her elbow.

"It'll take a few minutes to work." Pomfrey said,

"What caused this Professor?" Asked Pansy form a seat by Hermione's bed.

"I don't know yet. Has she been showing any symptoms recently."

"She fainted yester day, she's fainted about 11 times since the train journey here." Draco said

"Indeed." Pomfrey said,

"Her pulse is really slow and faint." Pansy said "When I felt it I could hardly pick it up!"

"She seems stressed more than usual and always snaps at us. Especially if we talk about her eating habits." Harry said,

"Or if we try and go to the toilet at the same time as her…" Pansy said, with a strange, disapproving look upon her face,

"Oh, The stupid girl!" Madam Pomfrey quickly went over to her office and brought another potion out. She put it into another syringe and injected it again.

"What's that?"

"It'll stop the potion working to enervate her because if my thoughts are right, she won't be happy with us checking her over." Pomfrey sighed and sat in a chair opposite Pansy, Harry and Draco, "You said about her eating habits… What do you mean by that?"

"She hardly ever eats properly." Draco said,

"Hardly ever."

"Yeah." Pansy said, after Harry, "If she eats she ahs a dry salad, no dressings or seasonings she only ever drinks water, and then once a week or so she'll eat a load of food. Then she goes to the…" Pansy looked shocked and put her hand to her mouth, her eyes looked wet with tears, "Madam Pomfrey… You don't think?" She looked horrified,

"I'm afraid I do." Madam Pomfrey, "And if it is she is going to need you all more than ever."

"What are you on about?" Harry said anxiously,

"Mister Potter…. I think Hermione may have an… Eating disorder."

…………………..

Oooooh! Revelations! I hope you liked this chapter, I enjoyed writing it. Now next chapter should be up soon. So review fast. I'll write the chapter but I'm not updating till I get 5 reviews. Yes, that is blackmail.. But it's loving blackmail I only wanna know what you think so ic an make it better for you. Love -P.C


	9. Broken Dolly

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning/Notes:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are out of character. Thank you for all your great reviews…They mean so much. The couples at the moment are Blaise/Lexi, Dean/Ginny, Ron/Lav, Seamus/Parv, Harry/Mione, Draco/Pansy, but some aren't together yet, and I'm not saying we're going to focus in on them all. Right, at the moment, they have just found out Hermione has an eating disorder. I'm not quite sure how to set this out so I'll just write and see. Tell me if it's good or not by clickin' the button of happiness down at the bottom ). This fic. is nearing the end, I'm sad to say it, but it is, so give me feedback.

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

"What?" Harry said, "She can't be…"

Tears fell down Pansy's face and Draco wrapped an arm around her. She clung onto him, sobbing into his chest. The sounds of her cries were muffled into Draco's chest. Draco looked deeply sad, deeply worried and deeply uncomfortable. Not just for themselves but for the sobbing girl, the diminished best friend, but for the broken girl on the bed too.

_The broken doll which, before this point in time, was unknown to all had had more than her fair share of tears, her fair share of pain, her fair share of disappointments and far more than her share of troubles._

"Now, if you don't think you can stomach it look away… But I'm going to have to check her over." Pomfrey sighed.

"No she's our friend." Pansy said looking up, her lip quivered but despite her fear she carried on, "And if she has done this to herself, then we have to be strong and be able to confront he problem."

"Okay, Miss. Parkinson." Pomfrey said and patted Pansy on the arm,

"Right." Harry said.

Madam Pomfrey took off Hermione's shoes first, then her socks. She undid her shirt and took it off. Pansy gasped. Harry looked on the verge of tears, or a panic attack or something like that. Draco just stared. The four of the conscious wizards and witches had all paled considerably. Hermione's skirt was shifted up a bit. Pomfrey poked against Hermione's jutting out collar bone. She picked up her arm, that looked like the skin had been cut off and all was left was her bone. She gently poked at the ribcage that looked like it was about to poke through the wafer thin skin. She raised a leg that was like a willow branch.

"Accio scales." The mediwitch summoned, she stood on the scales and recorded her weight in her brain, and she then scooped up Hermione and weighed again. She worked it out for a second whilst putting Hermione back on the bed. Pansy got up shakily gently pushing Draco's hand away she picked up the shirt that was discarded on the table at the end of the bed. Pansy then lifted Hermione torso and put the shirt on her. She was like a shop window mannequin that was dangerously out of proportion. All three of the other's in the room saw as her hands shook as she did the buttons up. Tears flowing down her cheeks. She then sat back down crying, and every time Draco extended a hand she moved further from him.

There was silence for a while

"How could she…?" Harry asked, there was a moment that hung in the air for a century subsequent to this question,

"It's a disease." Came a cracked voice, Hermione was awake, and staring at the ceiling, "You can't stop. It's addictive. Like an almost endless helter-skelter. You start to slide down it, and you keep sliding, and you want to stop. But you can't, you try to climb back up, but climbing up a slide… It's almost impossible. And it's so much easier to just let yourself fall."

"Ms. Granger…" Started Madam Pomfrey, but Hermione raised a hand,

"Look they deserve an explanation. So if you'd let me finish you can lecture me after." She took her hand down and took a deep breath, "You probably don't understand, there's a chance that you might never fully comprehend how I feel but that's not a problem. The what's, who's, where's, why's, how's will be asked, and as far as I can I'll give an answer. But that does in no way mean you are going to change me." Hermione let that statement sink in before carrying on, "This is my life, this is me, and if you don't like it. I guess solitude will really be my only option."

"Ms. Granger. You cannot carry on like this, it is a mental illness if you don not improve, St. Mungo's will have to be informed. I thought you were the brightest witch of your age. Tell me what the good in this is."

Hermione laughed bitterly,

"Ana doesn't do 'good'; Ana doesn't do 'nice'." She retorted, and Madam Pomfrey gasped,

"How long have you been like this child?"

"Like what?"

"Anorexic, Bulimic, and I guess, maybe even a binge eater."

"Since the summer. It started with a comment of a certain Brett La Salle, and I spiralled downwards."

"Brett did this to you?! I'll kill him!" Harry said, "I always knew he was a fuckin' asshole!"

"Mr. Potter, if you are going to use that language…"

"Sorry Madam, I'm just annoyed."

"I understand dear. It's just that, that language is not appropriate in front of a teacher."

"Sorry."

"No, he only said I was fat… So I started to diet, it's my fault."

"But why 'Mione?!" Pansy blurted out, "You're so skinny." She sighed, "You're too skinny. Look at you. You're just bones… It isn't even pretty, it's just… Sickening."

"Yeah… well. I don't care what you think. I don't care what any of you think. All that matter's is ana. If you don't like it, fuck off."

"Miss. Granger!" Pomfrey said shocked,

"No I'm fuckin sick of it! You all think you know so much. You all RECKON you've been through it. You think you can lecture me?" She got up, "Well you can't." She did up the Velcro on her shoes. "And you know what? I'm going to leave this room, feeling guilty. But I don't want to. I want to just go away and live. I don't want all this hassle." She picked up her bag and walked towards the door she could see Harry's body twitch, he was going to come after her she knew it, "I don't want to be a victim. Everyone has there own problems so let me suffer with mine." She slipped out of the wing, just in time to see Pansy burst into tears, and Pomfrey shake her stupid fat head.

She got a stomp on; she was down the end of the corridor before she could hear Harry's steps. She saw all the door's open around her, everyone was coming out and she had to go past the charms corridor to get to her and Harry's dorm, which meant a high chance of bumping into Blaise and Lexi and probably the rest of the group because they would meet up somewhere around there.

"Hermione!" She heard a call from behind her, she whirled around and saw Harry jogging towards her, she moved faster away,

"Hey 'Mione?!" She felt someone grab her arm in amongst the crowds, "Harry's trying to catch you?" She looked down and saw Blaise's arm,

"I know." She said,

"How are you?" Said Parvati.

_Great practically the whole bloody gang's here now. All we need now is for- Spoke to soon. Already Draco and Pansy have walked around the corner. What a nightmare! All the gang and my secrets just out. For Christ's sake. Harry's coming closer now…How am I? How am I Vati? I'm shit, I'd rather be sat in a hole with my wrist slit wide open than be right here, at right this moment._

* * *

Well, there's your chappy. Chapter 10, is already written and should be up tomorrow, and eleven is half down.

hugs

With love,

-P.C/Liv


	10. Lord, what would I do?

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are out of character. Thanks for all your reviews; it really means a lot to me. I really haven't got anything, except this chapter is dedicated to anyone who is going through this or who has been through this. If you have a problem with this chapter, and it's content please tell me. And I'll change it. Warning this is an R, a strong R so please don't read on if that's a problem.

* * *

She stared at Harry's hand on her arm, Blaise's hand on her other arm. She pulled up her arms and shook their hands off. She looked at all the worried faces around her. She had eyes like saucers and she slammed through Parvati and Ron. And sprinted down the corridor, ignoring her friend's shouts, people's stares and the bruises she was get from running into people. She turned the corner and slammed into a charm's classroom. No-one was in there. She sat in the corner, and tried to fade away.

_You'll have to face them sometime. You know it._

She heard the door open, and Ron's voice called out,

"Mione?"

_Don't say anything._

"She isn't in here." He said,

"Have a proper look." She heard Harry say, she shut her eyes and prayed. She tried to silently sink further into herself.

"What was that?"

_Nothing. It was nothing. That's all I am._

"I don't know." She heard footsteps and saw Harry walk in. "Do you want lights?"

He walked around checked, the corner diagonally opposite her. He walked within a couple of inches of her knee.

"Nah. She isn't here. We'll just have to wait."

"Defence against the Dark Arts now anyway."

"Okay. We better go." With one last glance around the room he left.

She looked at the clock on her wall.

_I'd be late if I went anyway. Ten minutes late already, and to get over there at least another twenty._

Hermione jumped as she saw the candles turn on.

"Shit Granger. What happened to you?" A boy stood there, he had black hair. A gauge in his left ear. He was wearing a pair of faded torn jeans with some black converse shoes. He had a black zip up hoodie on, and a black and white trucker cap that said skateboarding ruined my life in black on the white front,a lip ring glinted. But it had been crossed out in magic marker, and Harry Potter was written above it.

_Echo Pringle. Hangs with a bunch of guys. Looks kind of cool. He doesn't know Harry, so I suppose I might as well talk to him. Not like I have any other friends after today._

"Life hit me in the face like a ton of bricks."

"Where's Potter to save the day?" He asked,

"Busy worrying about me, after all he can't have an anorexic best friend, it would be so bad for his sodding reputation." She growled slightly at the end, then blinked realizing what she'd said,

"Anorexic?"

"So what if I am?"

"Just wondering." He sat on a desk swinging his legs, "Guess they just found out then."

"Yeah. Hence me sat here on my own."

"Ahh well. I'll hang out with you. Got nothing better to do."

"Class?"

"Free. Shouldn't you be in a class anyway boffin?"

"No. Not really. We better go before someone comes." She stood up and started walking towards her and Harry's common room.

"Where we goin'?" He asked,

"My room."

"Oh yeah, head-girl eh? Bet that's useful. Oh one second." He entered a classroom, and a few guys walked out. "Right let me introduce you, this is Jimmy." It was a cute guy in some gothic clothes, he smiled and she smiled at him gently, "Then this here is Jason." Out came a guy in some cream three quarter length baggie trousers. He said hello happily and she greeted him in return, "And Sean." He smiled at her and she nodded her head to him, he had on some jeans and a white t-shirt with a black spray paint style 'tribal' on it.

"'Mia right?" Jimmy asked,

"How'd you know my nickname?" She asked,

"We pick up on things." Echo said with a shrug,

"Ok." Hermione said and she carried on walking,

"One sec." Sean said, and he entered the Hufflepuff common room, He walked out alter with a bag slung over his left shoulder,

"Right."

They hit Hermione and Harry's common room. She murmured the password and got let in. This felt like a new start. She slipped up the stairs and entered her room,

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Jason said,

"Woah." Said another guy,

"I know it's a bit grand." She sighed and sank onto her couch, "And Gryffindor like." They all giggled, and then she noticed Sean, Jason and Jimmy all had wide eyes and a grin on their face. Jason was sorting out a stereo that had appeared from his bag with speakers.

_Must of charmed it or something……_

Finch came on quite quietly and a CD collection was brought out. Then another one and another one. Hermione walked out and brought out her CD collection, it was in a round electric pink case.

"Drugs?" She asked,

"Mmmm" Said Echo,

"Got any?" She asked quietly,

"You want to try some?!" He said, shocked.

"Well, it might help me waste away my days in another way."

"OK." Said Echo, he grabbed Sean's bag and got out a bag of pills.

She ignored the voice in her head telling her not to.

"Kitchen?" He asked,

"Yeah downstairs."

"K, c'mon." They left Sean, Jimmy and Jason chatting furiously in her bedroom.

"What drinks you got?"

"Check the fridge; I haven't been in it for ages."

"Woah, privileges!" He said pulling out two bottles of fire whiskey, Hermione had a vague idea they were Harry's and the gang's but she let him take them anyway. He poured the both of them a shot. He handed her a small blue pill, with a playstation on it.

"They're the shit, I swear, you'll love it!" He smiled, "But if you don't want to seriously, don't push yourself. It's a big step."

"No. I want it." She said, a little glitter in her eyes, she put it in her mouth and swallowed it. Pushing the doubts far out of her mind she gulped down the rest of the firewhiskey.

"I'll leave one bottle in there" He said, he put on back in the fridge and shut the door. "You couldn't get another two glasses could you?"

She got another two glasses whilst Echo dropped two pills at the same time. They went upstairs and sat drinking and chatting until Hermione and Echo started to come up.

"I'm gonna go." Said Jase, "I'll be back alter I just need lunch."

"Me two." Said Sean,

"Me three!" Said Jimmy, and they all giggled,

"Bye" 'Mione said, and hugged the three of them,

"Bye Mia." They all said one after another.

"You comin' Echo?" Jimmy asked,

"Nah, I'll stay with 'Mione."

"Ok, see you guys later." Sean said as they left, leaving the stereo and bag behind,

Hermione and Echo talked for another few hours. It was nearly the end of lessons, Hermione and Echo had both had another pill each, and were very high and drunk.

"More firewhiskey darling?" Hermione asked,

"Of course my precious." He said and they laughed,

"Oh nooooo!" Hermione cried, "We're out of whiskey!"

"We'll get the other bottle."

"We can't!" She grabbed him, "It's Harry's" She said and fell on top of him. "Oopsie doopsie." She said, and got up "AHA! An idea has just hit me," She pointed to Echo, "The kitchens!" She hissed and they got up giggling.

They left the common room,

"Want a piggy back?" Echo said,

"Yeah!" Hermione said and jumped onto his back. They headed down to the kitchens, with Hermione's instructions. They got lost at one point, but soon found their way. Soon Echo was tickling the pear and they got to the kitchens.

"Dobby!" Hermione hissed, "Dobbyyyyyy"

"What would you be wanting off Dobby Miss Hermione."

"Firewhissskey" She hissed again,

"Okay Miss."

"Three bottles please."

Soon Dobby returned with three bottles of firewhiskey, she grabbed a bag of groceries and emptied them onto the counter she put the firewhiskey in and slung the bag on her shoulder,

"Come on, beautiful. To yonder common room!" Hermione gave directions and soon the were clawing through piles of students.

"Miss Granger! Would you please get off Mr. Pringle's back!"

Hermione grabbed Echo's hat and put it on. She jumped off.

"Sorry Professor." She said, and Snape ran away. Hermione and Echo laughed so hard they had to lean on each other for support.

"Okay. He's gone now!" Echo said in-between laughs. And Hermione carried on her ride back to the common room. They walked in. Hermione jumped off.

"Yeah, Mr. Pepper's groceries my arse!" Echo said and Hermione put another firewhiskey bottle back in the fridge, then she ran up to her room. Echo followed and Hermione fell into her bedroom, Echo and her giggled from the pile they were in on the floor. They got up and sat on the sofa together chatting about Snape. Hermione got up and locked the door when she heard Harry come in. She could hear faint voices. But ignored it. She put turned up the CD player. She sat on her bed and took a swig of firewhiskey. She motioned for Echo to come near and he sat by her and she passed him the firewhiskey, he drank some and then after a few attempts managed to put the lid back on the bottle. Blink 182 blared out of the speakers. She straddled Echo's hips, and smiled.

Their heads moved towards each other, and soon they were kissing furiously. Echo rolled Hermione over so he was on top of her. They kissed, and just as the guitar kicked in Hermione rolled them both over so she was on top, she did this just as Harry, Blaise, Lexi, Ginny, Ron, Parvati, Lavender, Dean, Draco, Pansy and Seamus ran in.

Hermione carried on kissing him, then sat up and turned around.

Everyone's eyes slipped up her body, where Echo had undone her top few buttons, and the cap that said Harry Potter ruined my life. She tried to look guilty but ended up half grinning at the same time. She looked down and did a button up.

"Whoops." She said and then burst out laughing. She had to turn around and will herself to stop laughing. Tears were rolling down her face, big fat juicy tears of laughter. Then Echo started laughing at her. And she turned around.

Harry was stood there, his tongue flicking over his bottom lip.

"Whoops indeed." He said, he walked out,

"Harry!" Hermione cried and leaped off the bed, "I can explain!" She ran after him and into his bedroom, she fell over onto him. Her face was right up close to him, she realized slowly about her wide eyes and shut them quickly. Just not quickly enough.

"What have you been taking?" He said she got off him and opened her eyes, he grabbed her wrist, "WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING?!"

"Nothing! I swear, nothing!" He growled, threw back Hermione's wrist as if diseased and ran out, he strode into Hermione's room to see Echo lounging on the bed, with the rest of the group stood there watching, waiting for an explanation of some sort. But it just wasn't coming.

"What did you give her?!" He asked walking over to him, "WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER YOU BASTARD! YOU STUPID FUCKING- WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?! WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER!" He took a deep breath, "DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND SMIRK AT ME!"

Hermione ran in just in time to see Harry laying into Echo. Echo punched back and soon they were brawling on her bed.

"GET OFF HIM!" She shrieked at Harry, "NOW! HARRY JUST LEAVE IT!" She walked over and pulled at him, he turned around, and she slapped him, "GET OUTTTTTT!" She screamed at the top of her voice, "BEFORE I DO SOMETHING ELSE I REGRET." Harry touched his cheek where she slapped him and walked into the bathroom. Everyone else went out. Ginny poked her head around the door.

"I guess you want-" She started spitefully, then looked at Hermione and Echo who were already back at it, "Fuck you." She murmured and slammed the door with anger.

Soon Hermione's shirt was off and lay on the floor discarded.

"Wait-" She said and got up.

…………………………………………………………………

Well I hope you liked it. If you want to report me, tell me first and I'll change it. And if you still don't like it… Well then you can report me.

It's still Hr/H don't worry, it's just not in motion yet.

Well, I suppose that's all. And to all the fans of Regrets, sorry I didn't update sooner, there is a new chapter. Hopefully another chapter on it's way soon.

hands out muffins

With love

-P.C


	11. Painful realizations

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are out of character. I didn't get as many reviews this time, so I'm guessing you don't like it. So unless I get lots of reviews, I'm not going to update (Okay so that's blackmail and is veryyyyy mean. But seriously guys?! A girl needs support here!). I really haven't got anything, except this chapter again is dedicated to anyone who is going through this or who has been through this. If you have a problem with this chapter, and it's content please tell me. And I'll change it. Warning this is an R, a strong R so please don't read on if that's a problem. The song in the chappie is Short stories with tragic endings by From Autumn to Ashes. I advise hearing the song first, it's truly beautiful and you will be able to relate to it.

She poked her head into the bathroom, Harry was in there. He looked at her, Hermione could see the red slap mark on his cheek. His eyes looked wet with tears.

"Don't tell me that little slap made you cry." She said, jeering at him,

"Hermione shut up, because you'll regret this in the morning."

"How do you know?" She retorted spitefully, Harry was silent, "That's right you don't." With that she slammed the door and murmured a charm, she went back to the bed and crawled towards Echo who was sat up leaning against the headboard, "Where were we? Ahh yes. That's right I remember." She said, and licked over his lips before they locked and their tongues battled.

Echo's hands moved to the strap of her bra, and with one hand he undid it skilfully. The Peaches came on the stereo, Fuck the Pain Away. Which Hermione thought was pretty damn appropriate for the moment. Hermione hand pulled off his t-shirt, and she runned her hands up and down his toned chest. She bent down and licked a small line up it. She got to the top and kissed Echo's neck, she then blew her way down the line, making Echo arch his back with some sort of pleasure. Soon Hermione reached down to his studded belt, she pulled it off and discarded it to the side of her bed. It clinked loudly against the wall. But she didn't care if they all knew what was happening. They deserved to know, bit of pain for her months of it.

She pulled down his jeans in frustration. Then his boxers, she slipped them off his legs, and took him into her mouth. She swivelled her tongue around him and gently started to suck. Echo soon found his hands in Hermione's hair, weaving his hand inside its curls with pleasure. He moaned her name over and over again as she explored different methods and techniques. She gently slid her teeth along it and looked up at him to signal she had finished. He smiled and gently unzipped her skirt.

"Jeez, you really did mean it, when you said you were anorexic…" He stated, but carried on anyway. "You're not fat you know. In fact I like a girl with curves. But if you're happy as you are…" He murmured,

She guessed you couldn't even fuck the pain away… The Lost Prophets came on and after a few more moves they were both naked. Echo rolled them over so he was on top. He pushed into her,

"Echo" She breathed out, and wrapped her legs up his back, letting her cold feet touch his warm back. He started to push in and out of her, and the bed creaked slightly, but she didn't give a shit. He pushed in harder, and she moved her legs further up his back. She moaned his name over again,

"Faster" She groaned, and the pace picked up. She could tell he'd had his fair share of girls, unlike herself. Who had only ever had Brett?! The pace picked up and Hermione clawed against his back with pleasure. They released at almost the same time, Echo a few mere seconds after. Hermione arched her back with pleasure. And they smiled at each other, almost shyly, almost innocently, almost hopefully like children who had just had their first ever peck on the lips. But in reality they were far from children. Far from innocent. And certainly far from hope. Far from hope indeed.

Hermione woke up the next morning, in a very cold bed; she turned over and saw No-one.

Just a space.

Just the creased bedsheet and pillow where someone had been.

She got up and looked around her room. Her clothes had been folded up into a pile, obviously by Echo. She felt groggy, her body was aching from what her and Echo had _done _last night.

'_Stupid pills'_ she thought. _'In fact it wasn't even there fault. It was mine for being such a stupid bitch, maybe if I wasn't so fat I'd be better. My life would be under more control. Life wouldn't be such toil. Then again I'm just saying this to kid myself. Kid myself into my weight being the problem, when in reality I'm the problem. I'm the one who sticks out like a sore thumb around everyone else. I'm the one who's a mess. I'm the one who hurts so many people. I'm the one who hurt Harry. Hurt my friends. Hurt my family. I'm the one who made Echo flee. I'm the big stupid… Thing. Maybe finally it's about time I realized the truth. The reason I'm anorexic is not because I'm fat, but because need control. At first it may have been but these days it's just habit, it's just because I want it like this, because without me being like this I'm just a nobody. Yet eventually I'll turning to a nothing anyway. Yet… Somehow, somewhere in my heart, I know I'm not good enough for myself. So why am I good enough for anyone else? I wasn't good enough for Echo, and my friends, I wasn't good enough for Brett… I'm not good enough for anything._

Tears spilt loosely down her face and she got up. The tears that stung her eyes so painfully half blinding her. She stumbled into the bathroom and turned the shower on. She didn't care about the heat; tears racked her body making it jerk so violently as she pulled off the bed sheet she had used to cover her naked emaciated body. The body that she'd cried over so many times, the body she'd die for. The body that was her life. She jumped in the shower that was running cold. She sat in the bottom of the cubicle and cried. She cried her little dying heart out. She wasn't going to live she knew it. There was no way out. She would die as she was now.

Yet she wished someone would come save her. Someone save her from the sprinkling drops of glistening ice cold water spilling over her already permanently cold body. She'd die of pneumonia. She'd die of taking that stupid pill, that was giving her a bad comedown. She'd die from the pressure on her heart. She'd die from lack of vitamins. She'd die intentionally. She'd die of heartache.

She had so many reasons to die… And just not enough reasons to live.

How had she let herself get like this?

Why had she changed so much for him?

Why had she changed so much for ana?

Why had she left the 'Hermione' everyone knew behind?

Why had she turned into something she hated?

She cried. Sat under the shower head and cried. _What a state I'm in_, she thought. Yet she found herself thinking about the night before. How confident she'd been, how happy she'd been. How she'd forgotten all. She could get used to that feeling. She could get used to the drugs and the comedown. She could get used to being whatever she became. She could get used to forgetting who she really was.

But she wasn't even good enough to be a drug addict.

Echo was gone.

Brett was gone.

Harry… Well, he was as gone as gone could be.

And soon, somehow she'd be gone.

Her thoughts soon turned fuzzy and she felt that familiar dizzy feeling. But no-one was around. There was nothing to fight for. Nothing to hide. No reason to be anyplace. No reason to do anything. She was the guilty one here.

And as one last tear shed down her face. She slipped into her unconscious.

There she laid for two hours freezing cold shower water pouring all over her. After two hours the shower water turned off, a spell had been placed for it turn off. Presuming the person had left it on by mistake.

After another two hours sat freezing in the shower cubicle. She woke up. She wrapped a towel around her shivering body. She walked into her bedroom. She threw on a baggy t-shirt. She turned the CD Player and skipped to a certain track.

* * *

Harry sat in History of magic. His last period of the day. He slipped in his headphones with subtlety. And tapped his wand on it and thought of a track. It played gently into his head.

* * *

She let the music play. And just listened. Listened to something else apart from her ana. She sat on her bed in an over-sized baggy t-shirt.

"_Here you stand seething with guilt._

_Silence only justifies this act of cowardice._

_The look stapled on your face cries out for forgiveness,_

_The one thing that I cannot give you,"_

Immediately, she slipped into her mind. She knew who was the guilty one, and who was the violated one. Yet, she didn't cry she just let it play, humming along softly, occasionally singing softly a few words.

* * *

"_Did you ever see that one person?_

_And the way they do these things_

_And it hurts so much it's like choking.. Choking?" Sang out an angelic voice, a voice so entrancing, a voice so beautiful it almost made you want to kiss the beholder._

Harry glided into himself, and started to relate to the music.

* * *

"_I can give you freedom from your guilt,_

_with a flick of my wrist onto yours._

_I can give you peace of mind with a forced smile." __Screamed a man's voice dripping with anger and emotions._

Hermione closed her eyes from staring at the canopy of her bed. And tried to blink away tears that were forming in her eyes.

* * *

"_I can give you death with the look upon my face. _

_This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,_

_With no last kiss & no regrets;_

_You don't deserve good bye._

_This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,_

_With no last kiss & no good bye." The man's voice shouted into Harry's over-worked mind. _

And he could sympathise so well with the word's.

He knew soon Hermione would care sometime soon about what she'd done. He knew what drugs did to people. He knew the drugs would make her feel even worse too.

* * *

"_Here you stand seething with guilt._

_Silence only justifies this act of cowardice._

_With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss._

_No story book ending for this fairy tale of you._

_Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your lifeless hand._

_Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end." The words continued to flow with the music. _

The pair unknowingly connecting with each other. Just like the words connected to the beats. The pair unknowingly feeling exactly how the other expected them to. Hermione knew so well this song was so alike to her and Harry's problems. SO alike it was practically written for them.

* * *

Harry stood up with the rest of the class, the song on repeat. He walked out of class. He ignored Ron, Draco, Blaise, Luna, Lexi, Parvati, Ginny, anyone he passed and walked out. He walked to the lake and stood on the edge.

"_Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,_

_And the way that they do these things and it hurts so much?_

_So much it's like choking down the embers of a great blaze." The angelic voice sang out loudly into his head, into his mind. _

He tried so hard not to cry bitter tears that were threatening to fall.

"_It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions_

_and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds._

_You let this one person come down on the most perfect moment." It carried on singing._

His eyes glistened with unshed tears. He furiously kicked a rock into the lake in front of him out of anger for his weakness, how he was so damn close to crying, how he had some weak spot for that bitch. How could he?

* * *

"_And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of what _

_I'll never have…_

_I'll never have… I'll never..." It sang into both their ears._

A tear slipped down Hermione's face and she wiped it away furiously. She got up and wlaked to her window. She opened it needing air. She sat on the window seat and looked out of it. She saw Harry kicking stones into the lake.

"I think that… I might… love you" She whispered to naught but the wind. Which carried it away along with all the other secrets that no-one knew. She shut her window, turning the volume up on the song.

* * *

Harry kicked the final stone on the small bank where he was standing into the water.

"I LOVE YOU!" He shouted furiously. Angry at himself for being so… Stupid. Angry at himself for showing his weakness. He threw himself down onto the bank then got back up almost immediately. He stamped back into the castle. He shut his eyes, he stopped the song. And shoved the player into his pocket.

He walked his slow way back to the common room. He bumped into the Draco, Pansy, and Ron on the way.

"What's up Harry?" Draco asked,

"Yeah, what's up mate?"

"Just got a shock…" He said distantly, "A big shock."

"Can't be that big in comparison…" Pansy murmured, trailing off towards the end.

"It can be." He said and walked past them,

"Harry? HARRY?" Pansy shouted,

"Harry? Mate? Oi!" Ron shouted,

"Leave him guys, leave him to sort himself out."

Just as Harry headed towards the dormitory. Echo headed towards it too. Echo got their first and knocked against the portrait. Hermione walked over, wiping a tear from her eye. Echo knocked again.

"I'm coming one second." She swung open the portrait, "Hey." She said quietly,

"How are you?" He asked,

"Not that great. Waking up to an empty bed isn't the best."

"I had lessons, I presumed you didn't."

"Well, I don't really. But you could've at least said goodbye." She walked away from him. The t-shirt that was wearing just covering her tiny frame swaying loosely as she walked.

"I did. I left you a note on your table." He went up to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Go read it. And get changed if you want."

"Alright." She murmured, and gently padded up the stairs to her bedroom.

_Dear Mione,_

_I'm sorry I had to leave with no goodbye kiss, or goodbye. This isn't the drugs or alcohol talking… I really like you. I like you lots._

_Hope you understand,_

_Echo._

His handwriting was a loopy scrawl across the page, and Hermione stared at the letter, re-reading it a few times. She smiled and put the note in her top draw that was full of letters from her friends.

She opened her underwear draw and got out a striped pink on black bra, and some matching panties. She put them on and went to her wardrobe. She got out a black pleated skirt with pink mesh underneath that reached quite far above her knees. She then got out some bright pink and black stripy socks. She then got out a pink top with a Jack Skellington face on it and a black zip up hoodie. She shut her wardrobe doors and threw her t-shirt in the wash basket. She then went out of the room and smiled at Echo.

"Hey." She said plainly and walked up to him. She looked up at him smiling,

"Hey. You look awesome. All you need now is some converse shoes." He smiled down at her, as she laughed. "Would you like to come to Hogsmeade with me next weekend? We can apparate to muggle London."

"Cool. I'd like that. Oh, God, I totally forgot it was Hogsmeade next weekend!" He smiled at her.

He sat down on one of the sofas. Hermione sat on his knee and laid against the arm. He wrapped an arm round her and stroked her stomach gently.

"You don't need to lose weight you know?"

"Mmm." She murmured,

"I know you don't want to change your mind, but you really could do with some more weight."

"Whatever." She said,

"I'm just trying to help."

"Well I don't need helping."

"Ok" He said quietly,

"And just for the record," She smiled, and then kissed him gently on the lips, "I really like you too"

'_Just not as much as Harry'_ she thought.

* * *

Okay, well hope you like it.

Got a bit of action in there. Got a bit deep. Please review tell me if you liked it. :)

huggles all

Bye bye!

P.C


	12. Drugs work

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are OOC. This chapter is like the last. There's not any anorexia in here but there's some storyline stuff. I hope you can see how Hermione is affecting everyone around her. This is dedicated to Amy, you my bitch girlfriend! Please enjoy , I tried to wager out the depressing shit with some happy-ish shit here. Yayness. Please review.

Harry stopped outside the dormitory. And walked away. He paced the corridor outside, trying to clear his head. Meanwhile inside Hermione had just sniffed some poppers and was lap dancing for Echo whilst singing.

"Move your g-string down south" She sang shaking her butt in his face. She did some body rolls then pulled him up, she shimmied down his body. "Come on!" She said and carried on dancing.

Harry made a split second decision and walked in, only to see Hermione singing about G-strings whilst whoring it up with Echo. She shook her booty, then grabbed some more drugs and took them, not giving a shit what she did. Harry shook his head and then got some firewhiskey and bolted up the stairs. She grabbed some pills and fed some to Echo, he smiled and gave her something to sniff in return. She smiled and twirled around her arms whirled out. Echo put the equaliser by clinic on. She carried on spinning until she fell to the floor dizzy. Echo passed her some acid, and they both got drugged up to high hell and back. They lay on the floor.

"The world is spinning!" Said Echo,

"I see bumblebees" Said Hermione, just then there was a knock on the portrait Harry bolted down the stairs clumsily, he opened the portrait.

"It's for you." He said shortly and staggered upstairs,

"Woooo! Someone drank too much and got too shitted!" Hermione sing-songed.

"JASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSON" Echo cried, and then greeted his three friends, "And the lurvely Cherry! Hermione meet Cherry, our other Hogwarts drugette!"

"Hey sweetie!" She said, whilst snorting a line of ecstasy.

"Jimmmmy, Sean!" Hermione cooed and gestured to the drugs. "Take some" She said. She got up shakily. She took some more acid and giggled as her view blurred. She span around again and again twirling her arms out. "Everything's blurry!" She said giggling. Cherry then got up; she had a curvy body with a big booty. She was a half-cast, she looked Hawaiian, and she had hair exactly like Hermione's but dark brown. She was wearing a plain top which had a criss-cross lace up the front, a belly ring glinted through her top. A tongue stud sparkled in her mouth. She had some low rise jeans on and plenty of make up.

Hermione stopped and lengthened her hair so it was nearly at her coccyx. She then grabbed hold of Cherry and the two whirled around and around, laughing. They fell on a heap on top of each other. And whilst the music played, she leaned over she hugged Cherry.

"I can't feel anything." She whispered. "Can you?"

"No!" She said, "Pass me the acid."

The two got another two hits.

"Slap me!" Hermione said, swung her arm back and slapped her as hard as possible, "HARDER BITCH!" She shouted and Cherry slapped her again, Hermione jerked to the side, "HARDER, THAT BARELY TAPPED ME!" She giggled and Cherry slapped her as hard as possible , Hermione fell to the side and laughed as her lip bled.

"Do it to me!" She shouted, so Hermione swung and almighty slap was heard, the two girls laughed, "HARDER!" Cherry commanded,

"I'm gonna punch ya!" Hermione shouted whilst laughing,

"GO FOR IT BITCH!" Cherry shouted, then a thump sound emerged as Hermione right hooked her face. The two fell on top of each other tears in their eyes.

Someone knocked on the portrait.

"DO IT AGAIN!" Hermione shouted. "GO ON!"

Harry ran to catch the door, Pansy, Draco and Ginny walked in just as Cherry slapped Hermione. Hermione giggled and licked up the blood from her lip. Some more of the group walked in but Hermione just laughed and slapped Cherry. Tears streamed down both of their faces and bruises were slowly appearing.

"I CAN'T FEEL SHIT!" Hermione said, and got up. She started dancing she shook her ass in Harry's face. She slapped her ass as hard as she could and laughed. She span around and around.

"Do you see what I mean?" Harry muttered to his two friends, "Look at her. She's gone mental."

"She'll get over it." Draco said,

"She's so different." Pansy said looking at Hermione who was fingering Cherry's belly ring and was whispering in her ear.

"LET'S DO IT!" Cherry said. She ran over and got some frozen peas from the freezer. They then ran upstairs and they went into Hermione's bedroom. She then flicked out her wand and murmured "Accio needle." She then giggled and put the frozen peas on her stomach.

"I can't feel anything dipstick."

"I know it's just good measure!" The two giggled, Cherry summoned a small box and she went through it with her fingers she pulled out a ring.

"Do it!" Hermione said to Cherry.

Cherry stabbed the needle through with difficulty, Hermione let out a muffled scream under a pillow, and tears slid down her face, "Motherfucker!" Cherry said and ran into the bathroom she grabbed a towel to clean the blood up with and she rammed the ring in. They then did the tongue and Hermione giggled as Cherry slid on the ball.

They went downstairs and neither of them mentioned the belly ring or the tongue stud.

Hermione grabbed an E and took it. "Motherfucker!" She exclaimed giggled.

"Chill out 'Mione" Echo said, "Don't want your pretty self to over dose do you?"

"Nope" She giggled. "What you lookin' at?" She asked Harry, "Want some?"

"No." Harry said coldly looking at her quite obviously disgusted.

"Fine. Go on upstairs now."

"No. It's my dorm too!"

"Fine." She said and started spinning around arm's out again. "I want it to rain!" She cried.

Cherry rant to the kitchen and opened the cupboards she grabbed a bowl for baking with and filled it with icy water. She then poured it all over Hermione's spinning body. Hermione shrieked with delight. Then someone did a spell and water was sprinkling all over the room from the ceiling except for where Harry and his friends were sat. Echo got up and pushed the sofa to the side of the room. He then moved the coffee table and the other sofa and pulled everyone up in the sprinkling indoor rain. Everyone span around giggling and dancing. Echo grabbed on to Hermione's hands and they pulled away from each other spinning around in a circle. Hermione swung her head back and laughed as she span, her hair flying out behind her. Harry stared at her his world seemed to slow down. She was spinning in slow motion the rain dropping down her. He sighed and walked upstairs, unaware his pals were following him. He grabbed the firewhiskey and swigged down a gulp. Draco walked over and took the firewhiskey from him.

"Don't do this over her mate. She's made her decision." Draco said,

"She hasn't and it's my fucking whiskey so I'll fucking drink it." He said grabbing it and swigging it down some more.

"Harry. Don't do this." Ginny said,

"WHY?" He shouted, "WHY SHOULDN'T I? MY BEST FRIEND IS A DRUGGIE, AN ANOREXIC AND HATES ME. I THINK I DESERVE SOME" He swallowed more and glared at the three of them.

"Look Harry we're all upset about the shit that's going on but-" Draco started,

"OH YOU THINK YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING GREAT, DON'T YOU? SHE'S FUCKING HIM! LADI-FUCKING-DA! LETS ALL PRETEND EVERYTHING IS OKAY WHEN IT ISN'T. I CAN'T JUST FORGET ABOUT HER I CANT JUST IGNORE THIS SHIT. THIS SCHOOL IS FUCKED UP AND SO IS EVERYONE IN IT! EVEN YOU GUYS WHO THINK YOU'RE SO FUCKING AWESOME, YOU'RE TRYING TO BRUSH IT ALL UNDER THE RUG. WELL THERE AINT NO RUG BIG ENOUGH TO FUCKING SWEEP THIS UNDER!" He threw himself down onto the bed, and gulped down more whiskey. "Just leave." He said spitefully.

The three left. All very worried for the health of both of their friends. They passed the living room and left.

"Good byeeeeeee!" Hermione said and the portrait slammed shut, "FUCKERS!" She shouted laughing. Everyone was laughing.

Hermione looked around at her cool new friends. She then looked at her cool new belly piercing. And her cool new alcohol. Her cool new drugs.

Her cool new self.

The night sped on and at about 4AM Echo, Jason, Jimmy, Sean and Cherry left the dormitory, leaving Hermione some pills for lessons the next day. Hermione said good bye and stuffed the pills in her pocket. She walked upstairs and saw a chink of light coming from Harry's door.

She walked in.

"Hey." He said quietly.

"Hi." She said.

"You ok?" He muttered,

"Speak up I can't hear you."

"You ok?" He said loudly,

"Yeah you?"

"Yeah." There was a silence once he said this for a very long time, where the two eyeballed each other.

"Well. Better be off to bed y'know? Lessons in the morning." She walked over to him and the two shared an uncomfortable hug.

"Night." Hermione said her head poked around the closing door,

"Night." He said.

Hermione went into her bedroom and turned off her lights. She undressed then climbed into her cold bed. Alone.

Well, that's all folks. It may not seem realistic, but anyone who's been through this before knows you'll cling to anything, do anything, be anything you need to be. A new chapter will be winging it's way towards you soon.

Love you all,

P.C


	13. Trying to Help

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are OOC.

**News: **Yes, finally it appears I am back. I've had a whirlwind couple of months, and hopefully all is returned to normal.

Hermione woke up her head was pounding. She rubbed her forehead painfully and looked at the time on her clock. 6AM, that made about two hours of sleep. She sighed and got out of her bed. Her stomach rumbled loudly and her stomach felt like a big cavernous hole inside of her.

She turned on the CD player and The Birthday Massacre came on, Video Kid. She moved her head in time to the music and looked in the mirror. She was pale, her lips were cracked and sore from were she'd been chewing on them, she rubbed her eyes, smudging her eyeliner even worse than it already was. She moved up close and held open her eyelids. Her pupils were still huge. She turned the song up and went into the shower. She quickly washed her hair, cleaned her body and teeth and exited the bathroom.

She still had her CD player on repeat so she carried on dancing to the tune. She then put on some ripped up tights, a pleated black skirt and a shirt. She then put a black V-neck sweater over the shirt and rolled the sleeves up. She then added a load of necklaces and pink gummi bracelets and rings and looked in a cupboard for some shoes. Make-up wise she put on some eyeliner, loaded her eyelashes with mascara, added some pink eye shadow and bubblegum pink lipstick. She put on her platform mary-janes and then got out a big pink tote bag. She rammed her school books in and some essays she'd written. She stared at the drugs in her draw, and thought for a moment. She left the bag in the drawer. She did her nails a bubblegum pink and waited for it to dry until the end of the song, she grabbed her bag and turned the CD player off. She flopped onto the sofa. About two minutes later Harry came downstairs,

"Oh you decided to go to lessons then?" Harry asked,

"Indeed, looks so doesn't it?" Hermione said, with a chapped smile brushed over with pink lipgloss.

"You look peaky"

"I always do" She said brushing some hair out of her face. "I ought to get this cut y'know?"

"Yeah, mines kind of long but I like it."

"Mmm, looks good" She said smiling softly to herself. She checked her nails. They were fine.

"Ready?" He asked,

"Yup" She said and hitched her bag onto her shoulder. Harry grabbed his messenger bag and they left.

It was really uncomfortable between the two of them. Neither of them knew quite what to say. She sighed and Harry yawned.

"Tired?" She asked,

"Yup, really knackered, you?" He said,

"Yeah. Could fall asleep right now if my brain would let me."

They were at the main hall now.

"Well, I'm going to wait for the others" He said. Hermione pulled a thinking face,

"Alright" She sighed, and hitched her bag up smiling slightly she murmured "See you around then" She raised the end of the sentence so it was like a question, or maybe, just maybe it was a hopeful statement.

She walked in and sat at the end of the Gryffindor table. She grabbed an orange and cut the skin off. She then cut the ball in half, then the halves in half, then the halves into halves. She then nibbled whilst thinking. Her teeth hurt, she must have been grinding them or chewing something all night. Or so it felt.

Her stomach was painful as she ate, and after two pieces she felt full. But carried on eating. She put her head down, trying to avoid the eyes burning holes in her back. A tear slipped down her face and she was glad her hair wasn't cut. She tried to blink them back, save herself the embarrassment of breaking down in public.

She felt a presence in front of her and she looked up. Pansy sat beside her and took a piece of orange,

"Hey" She said quietly,

"Hi" Pansy said, "I know I'm not really meant to be sat on this table or any of that bollocks but Dumbledore can bugger off" Hermione smiled at Pansy's statement.

"How are you?"

"Worried." She said simply, "Like the rest of your old friends."

"I don't know Pans. It's complicated"

"For fucks sake Mia I know, you know we care for you but your just dragging yourself deeper into different holes. The circle of friends you have… they're bad for you." She sighed, "Real bad… You need stability. You need people who care about you above all, above chemicals they pump into their bodies. What are drugs going to do anyway?"

"I don't know. Momentarily take the pain away, the feeling of uselessness that burns inside of me all the time. The voice that tells me I'm failing over and over and speaks stupid statements like 'one more pound till I'm thin, one more pound till I win.' Maybe they're comforting but all it is is maybes these days. I can't win. It's not enough being myself anymore." Hermione looked down at her plate as she said this.

"Oh my God Hermione. You need help, not just sweeping it under the rug all the time. There isn't a rug big enough to sweep it under." She moved next her. And the plate of orange was between them. _Ironic_, Hermione thought, _food is all that keeps us apart, and it seems so simple to her but to me it's just not._

"I'm not sweeping it under the rug." Hermione murmured

"Ok, so are the drugs helping you now? Do you feel you can eat now? Cause it seems to me all your eating is orange! Wet fruit, hardly any calories right? Negative even." Pansy said,

"Yeah, but how'd y-" Hermione started,

"You said it" Pansy cut over her, "I remembered it."

"Well… yes" Hermione said,

"We all love you, and care for you. We're all so worried" She came closer to Hermione and looked her in the eyes, piercing into her, "Please _let_ us help you" Hermione sighed,

"It's not as easy as you make it sound." With that she pushed her plate in front of her, it had three pieces of orange left.

Pansy sighed and glanced over at Harry. He shrugged. Pansy made her way over to the slytherin table and she rested her head on Draco's chest.

Hermione glanced over just as she exited, throwing a longing look the couples way. Wanting someone to support her, some one to look after her.

She wanted someone to love her. Yes, love, perhaps that infamous feeling would make her feel wholesome, like she had some kind of worth in this world, maybe life would seem so indescribably beautiful… It would be a fairytale… And she could forget.

She leaned against the entrance hall's wall. She felt emotional and looked over to the corner where she'd collapsed. She shook her head.

She was confused, there was a voice telling her to stop, the damage she was doing to herself, then there was a voice telling her how worthless she was. And she knew she wasn't but she couldn't stop.

Harry came out after her,

"Mione?" He said softly,

She looked up,

"Yeah?"

"It's not pretty you know… It's not sexy… It's not beautiful. He picked up her arm like a stick, do you think this is beautiful? A bone with some cling film skin wrapped around it?"

"I don't know what I think alright? I know you care for me, I know all that bollocks… But sometimes it's something inside you and it just won't go away… It just pokes and pokes away at me and I can't do anything. I want to stop Harry… Believe me I do"

"Yes… I believe the old Hermione wants this to stop… but you've changed… look at your belly… think about the drugs… all that shit you pump into your body it's not helping!"

"I know…" She said sadly… "But what can I do?" She looked at his eyes but they were shot down, "The school isn't really helping… Madam Pomfrey isn't helping… Everyone around me is so happy, so confident, so in love. Take Pansy she loved Draco and that's enough she doesn't feel empty… It's like maybe if my stomach is empty my heart will be full?"

"It doesn't work that way… Hermione you have bones jutting out everywhere, your hips, ribs, collar bone, bones that I didn't even jut out. Your beyond thin… your…"

"Emaciated?" Hermione said, supplying the word,

"Yes! Precisely… it's not nice… It's awful, I hate seeing you like this"

Hermione looked down a tear flowed down her cheek, she felt such guilt at her friends sadness but she _had_ to carry on.

_Had_ to.

She took one last look at Harry and hitched her bag onto her shoulder bone,

"Sorry" She said, and walked away and with one last look over her shoulder she scurried to her first lesson.

Harry watched her hurried away and sighed… He had to sort this out.

But how?

He knew she thought it was none of his business… but it was, he was her friend she wasn't thinking right.

He set off to his first lesson his mind set on helping.

x----------------------x

Arghhh! I'm sorry it took me so long to come up with the goods, ff is not my top priority at the moment. I'm so sorry guys, this is my favourite fic so for fans of regrets shrugs I'm sorry but it won't be updated as much as guys deserve it to be. Sorry, sorry, sorry, I've changed a lot over the past few months. I'm still anorexic but I've changed my circle of friends cause my old ones were holding me back, much like Hermione. This fic means a lot to me, and I know it means a lot to some of you. It is my top priority. And hopefully always will be.

mwah


	14. Rescue

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it (A/U), don't read. They are OOC.

**News: **Yes, I'm sorting myself out do not fear lovelies, recovery is my main objective, it's a slow process and your reviews have inspired me to keep writing. As I put on the top of every chapter this fic is A/U it means alternative universe it means I do what I want, when I want with the characters as I want so if they're off character… THEY'RE OFF CHARACTER! Ok. Yes, sorry I haven't been updating. This fic is semi based on my experiences so it seems random and fucked up but… it's how eating disorders are. It also says in the first chapter it's an experimental fic it's me experimenting with my writing. So IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE ABOVE STUFFS PLEASE DON'T READ……People have said to me they don't want a happy ending fic, but read to the end of this chappie and at the basenote there's a little poll. All you darlings… Enjoy!

* * *

"Glad to see you back Miss. Granger" Said McGonagall severely, "Turn to page 43 of your textbooks, Seamus begin to read"

Hermione read ahead of Seamus reading the unfamiliar words, she'd read this book through plenty of times so had no need to listen to Seamus' slow ramblings and frequent pauses as he worked out how to pronounce the words.

She really felt hungry, and it was only half an hour or less since she had some food. She sighed and stared out of the window. How was she going to sort herself out? Drugs… what was she thinking, and piercings… She shook her said silently tutting to herself. Harry watched as she shook her head gently and her face screwed up in concentration. A shaft of light from one of the small castle windows was shining on part of her face like a yellow dawn sunbeam gleaming through the glint in a tree. He sighed and rested his head on his hand,

"Looking at anything in particular mate?" Ron said leaning close to Harry's ear,

Harry sighed and shook his head, "No, I'm looking at hardly anything at all"

Ron moved away and Harry murmured "Hardly anything at all"

Four weeks later Hermione sat at the dinner table. She was sat with Harry and Ron, and she grabbed a plate

"What are you wanting to eat today?" Harry said,

"Well not too much I'm still a bit bloated after those two bits of beef last night"

Harry nodded, "Mmmkay. How about some chicken then? And a bit of salad?"

Hermione forced a smile weakly, "Alright then"

She got three small slices of chicken, and a few good spoonfuls of salad,

"Condiments?" Ron asked gesturing towards some of the dressings, oil and stuffs for the salad,

"Yes, that red one… Salsa"

"Ok" Ron and Harry said. Harry passed it her and Ron smiled,

She put one small tablespoon of salsa on her palter, 25 calories she thought as she started at the pile of red gloop. She then shoveled a small forkful of salsa and lettuce into her mouth. She then rested down her fork and knife and took a sip of ice cold water. Harry smiled at her, and then carried on his conversation with Dean. She took the opportunity to skin a piece of the chicken it was done roughly and she flicked the skin onto her lap and then shifted around in her seat until it fell to the hall's cold floor.

The movement made Ron turn and look, "Enjoying the food?"

She nodded, and smirked to herself. If only they knew. They'd been to Madam Pomfrey the three of them together like old times and Pomfrey and talked through it all with them. Harry and Ron had obviously gone to her again, or the library and read up on anorexia and healthy eating for they knew a lot about calories and stuff.

Ronlooked down to his plate, and she made to get a drink but picked up one of the remaining chicken pieces with skin and dropped it to the floor. She then sipped her water her eyes glinting at Harry's head, deep in conversation, malignantly. She cut some chicken up and just as Harry turned she speared it with her fork, collected some salad and salsa and ate it smiling like the 'improving' girl she was becoming.

She then dropped her knife and fork as soon as he turned around and dropped the other chicken piece.

"Hermione?" Colin asked opposite her, she looked up trying furiously not to blush,

"Yep?"

He looked at her and down at her plate… "Nevermind"

Harry and Ron exchanged a glance. Hermione shoveled a forkful of salad and salsa,

"Bit of potato salad Herms?" Ron said,

"OK" She said, just to stop any suspicion, she spooned a small tablespoon of potato salad to her plate and ate it. Each gulp was like swallowing her own bile, the calories, the fat, the carbohydrates, the mayonnaise. She could almost feel vomit rising in her throat. The thought of the toilet later loomed, the exercising to burn the calories, she sighed. Life was so fucking complicated she thought miserably.

She felt herself glaring at her friends when they turned around, as if it was their fault food was the enemy, as if they were the enemy. But to her, they were in a way, they were traitors, they made her eat the food, food had fat, fat _was_ the enemy.

It was a vicious circle of betrayal and complications. In a way she wanted Harry to jump to her rescue, to save her. But she didn't want to put on weight.

Now was her chance Harry had turned around, her heart beating furiously she looked for all their friends on other tables none were looking she shoveled half her plate into a napkin. She fumbled so much, and spent so long she was sure someone noticed, her heart pounded in her chest like sprinter's feet pounding on the ground during a race. No-one seemed to be doing anything different. Now she just had salsa and salad left, nearly perfect.

She started a conversation up with Harry and she ate a mouthful of food, put her knife and fork down, took a drink and then repeated. Always the same, always in control, cause with control came perfection and with perfection… Maybe just maybe she'd find love, someone to hold her, someone to fill the emptiness in her heart. As melodramatic as it sounded it was truly how she felt. She sighed and shook her head finishing her meal.

"Treacle tart?" Ron asked,

"I don't think she's quite that ready yet Ron" Harry said, jumping in before she could open her mouth to scoff at Ron, "Don't get me wrong I'd adore Hermione for trying some treacle tart but… She doesn't want to"

Hermione thought… And she reached out….

* * *

Ok well, sorry it took so long this chapter has been sat on my computer for a month, I have now directed all my alerts to my new e-mail account so with any luck I'll be on here more often. I'm sorry I've let all you guys down so much in these past few months hardly updating and stuff. I'm slowly getting over my problem with this shit. I know… I know… It seems quick, but it really hasn't been. Day seem like months to me, and my weight problem weighs heavily on my mind. So… I don't know, I have two endings for this fic planned, happy or sad, what do you guys think? Happy or sad?

**OH AND AS FROM NEXT CHAPTER MY USERNAME WILL BE: halfXpastXdead**

Please, please, please _remember_ this, and remember to check me out… PLEASE! Your reviews really do mean lots to me and I'm so so so so sooooo sorry for not updating you guys.huggles everyone

Love

Liv


	15. The beginning of the end

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it (A/U), don't read. They are OOC.

**News: **You are all so very, very, very, amazing, I have decided to leave some comments for you all along with a chapter. I have an idea for the ending it's going to be happy and sad. This story isn't going to end sometime soon though. So do not fear.

_Barbiegurl676_: I was thinking along the same lines, I really did not want Hermione to die, so I've been thinking long and hard, and I'm not sure, it honestly would kill me to kill off Hermione, but then again… It could be good for the story.

_Angeloffear2006_: That is what I was trying to get across, how real this issue is. I seriously do encourage you to be brave and write a fic about it. I would definitely read, these sort of issues are best written by someone who has experienced it or has seen someone struggle with it. Even if you don't put it up on here, write it for yourself, you may discover a new side to yourself, I don't know if you're still struggling but when you write about stuff like this, it puts it right into perspective. This story is one of the main reasons for my slow start to recovery, and it get's easier. I get support off of all of my reviewers in one way or another, and in the end it's about learning to love yourself, and realize everyone has faults that's how you recover. If you ever do start writing a story e-mail me at lhawkswell hotmail. com or if you just want a chat. In fact….

_Everyone_: If you ever do want to chat to me e-mail me at lhawkswell hotmail. Com or if you maybe want to know some more background information or anything.

_Ilovetom88_: Like I said, I've found a way to make it happy and sad.

_Punkchic51689_: Yeah, I was thinking about writing two endings but it would mean me putting these 14 chapters up in another story and updating two different versions of this story… So instead I rethought my plot and have come up with some really good idea's.

_BlackBetty_: I've just realized… Is your name from the totally ace Spiderbait song? If so… YAY! I love, love, love that song. I know, I have some idea's though for happy and sad I wanted to show life is not perfect in this story and I think I'm doing quite well. You mean a lot to me as a reviewer because you have reviewed me for nearly all if not all my chapters and you always suggest things and say little encouraging things, like I said you reviewers have really helped me through this shit. I love happy endings but I didn't want some stupid, unrealistic perfect ending so like I said I've had some idea's.

_PatientMental or Fehlerhaft_: I love you too, you're like BlackBetty and you nearly always review. Yeah, like I said it won't be a perfect ending, and hopefully there'll be some sadness along the way and stuff.

_Oreo69not96_: I'm updating w00t! I need to go check out your fics, gah I'm sorry for not replying honey. Thanks so much for keeping reviewing and stuff .

_Amanda_: Yeah, I'm doing really well actually. This morning I had half a dairy milk! And since I read your review I didn't go purge. I have stopped all the drugs, last Saturday my boyfriend started having a seizure and stopped breathing five time cause he took 6 lines of ketamine, so next time I see him, as much as I love him I am dumping him because I am not getting back into drugs. I refuse to fail again. I am slowly recovering it's about slowly cutting the shit that's bad for you out of your life which unfortunately includes the guy I love. I tried to tell one of my friends but I couldn't and I ended up just bursting into tears, I never told her, I just sobbed. It's difficult telling the people you love how fucked up you are because you are so scared of losing them and them hating you and everything. I never actually got my belly done, but when I was pilled up (yes, so fucking stupid I know, or if you don't know what I mean I mean having taken e's) I pierced my own lip and tongue web, I took them both out but the fact stands that drugs aren't a good thing at all. The thing is, I am slowly crawling back up the slide, I suppose if I told friends they would probably give me a ladder (so to speak) but I can't. I don't want to put this struggle onto them and most of them wouldn't understand anyway. Yes, I'm going to get her back to being healthy, maybe even slightly heavy with curves and stuff, because in the end… That is my aim, my new goal is not being perfect, not killing myself, or any of that stupid stupid shit it is being normal, being healthy even if it means being slightly heavy (our family has a rather heavy bone structure naturally and that's not bull because the doctor told me so a long time ago) I will probably e-mail you. Damn this was a long comment.

_HERMAN R. RHOONERY I_: Thanks, you are also an awesome reviewer, I want to share a part of me when I wrote this fic, they are al so out of character but people kept reading. Which makes me happy, maybe someday when I'm older I'll re-write this fic as a plain story and try get it published. If I ever do publish a fic, I'm going to get into contact with all of you guys and put a dedication in it for you all. It'll probably never get published anyway but still, I will never stop writing. This fic especially just means too god damn much to me.

_Eve Granger_: Thanks, you are also an amazing reviewer who mean a lot to me. If you read the thoughts of Hermione, that is mostly how I feel, I understand what I do is wrong, and I want to stop but I want to be perfect too. I hope to soon come to the realization that I'm perfect the way I am, everytime I look in a mirror I say to myself you're perfect the way you are, but everytime it's kind of hollow, someday I want to say it and believe it.

_Ammmmmmmy_: I hope to forking god you are ok. I know we are both struggling, but the reason I haven't e-mailed is because I have been trying to sort myself out. I really need to chat to you, how come you have been at hospital? Please please please be alright my sweetheart, I hope you are okay. I really do, I need your support at the moment and I miss you so much. I love, love, love you baby.

Thanks to you all so very much, you mean so much to me.

She grabbed some water and drank it…

"You're right, I'm not entirely ready yet." She left the hall and was about to go to the toilet but decided not to. Harry caught up with Hermione,

"I thought you were off to the toilet but no…" He grinned,

"No… I'm not"

They went back to the common room and sat in Hermione's room talking and listening to some music. Hermione kept looking at the toilet… She checked her watch, if she didn't purge soon they'd be no point…

"Back in a second" She said, and ran to the toilet. Harry turned the music down and listened out, Hermione thought he wouldn't hear cause of the music and shoved her fingers down her throat. She gagged twice and coughed up some sticky saliva from right the back of her throat.

Harry got up and ran to the toilet, it was locked, he whipped out his wand,

"Alohomora" He said and it opened, he ran in and over to Hermione. She was bent over the toilet, wretching. "HERMIONE" He shouted,

He pulled her away from the toilet and she looked up at him from the floor, her eyes were like saucers, filled with tears, she looked so innocent sat there looking up at him, her legs were bent behind her, little sticks at the side of her body. He sat down in front of her, he looked at her his eyes boring holes into her body.

"Please Hermione, you're my best friend and I love you for that"

_And because you're so amazing he thought to himself._

_**But not cause I'm beautiful, or just special to him she thought.**_

"I'm sorry Harry" She hugged him, "I can't help it"

x-------------------------x

It got to Thursday and Echo came to Hermione's room. Hermione sat in it listening to Silver Bullet by Hawthorne Heights. Echo walked in, she was wearing a pair of tight jeans that were a child's size. She had Echo's Thursday band t-shirt on and a black zip-up hoodie.

"Oooh look at you little Miss. Emo" Echo said,

"Oooh look at you Mister.I'm-so-emo-it-hurts" She replied,

"Oh, that hurt Mia, it really did." He laughed, "You look sexy like that, but like I said you need to get some Converse. In Hogsmeade there's an alleyway with a secret passage to Diagon Alley. So we're going there, then into Muggle London on Saturday."

"Does that mean I can use my credit card… And Oh my God." She stopped and grinned at Echo, "Wait and see Ok."

"See what?"

"You'll see on Saturday" She laughed, "Who else is coming?"

"We're meeting up with some friends in London, if that's alright I mean?"

"Sound's cool to me" She sighed, "You know you would probably get on with Harry, you just have to get to know him"

"He look's alright I suppose, his hair is cool if I was his friend I'd cut a fringe in for him, he could do with ditching his glasses though. Or maybe getting some new ones?"

"Yeah, there's a spell I could use to sort out his vision." Hermione said,

"You really are overly intelligent"

She giggled, "Yeah."

Echo laid next to her, and they sat just listening to the music for a bit.

"Echo, I'm gonna stop doing drugs. I'm not addicted, and I don't want to be because pretty soon I'm going to have to start buying and stuff."

"You are? Because I wanted to stop but I had like… No friends who didn't do drugs at Hogwarts at all" He sighed, "I love drugs, but they really will be the death of me" He sighed, Fall Out Boy- Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner started playing.

"Well, if you're gonna stop you're gonna have to go cold turkey."

"I know."

"You can stay here, I know you shouldn't… really. But if Dumbledore asks, he'd understand."

"Dumbledore can't find out though."

"He won't." Hermione played with Echo's hair, "Are you really serious?"

"Yes but… If I stop drugs, which I'm addicted to, will you stop this stupid food game you're playing, I know in a way that's addictive too, but I hate eating disorders…" He hung his head,

"Honey?" She said and got his head between her hands, "What's up?"

A tear slid down Echo's face taking some of his eyeliner with it, another one fell after, then another, then another, "Baby?" Hermione queried, "What is up? Tell me, please… Please"

"My sister… She should have been here… Two years above us, but she's not because, she chose not to come… We all thought this was strange, and she got thinner and thinner, and thinner… And thinner, and then one day she stopped breathing" He sobbed, Hermione wrapped her arms around him, "It was heart complications…" He looked up at her, "Please… I don't want you to turn out like her"

She looked into his eyes, so dark so myseterious,

"I love you" She said, and she meant it, "I love you Echo"

"Stop for me then," He said, "Please"

"I will, but I need you to help me… I need you" She said and a tear slid down her face and Echo wiped it away,

"Don't cry… I love you Mia, I love you" He kissed her tenderly on the lips.

Hermione felt so warm she held tightly onto Echo who held on so tightly back. She thought about Harry, and her love for him slowly ebbed away being replaced by her love for Echo, it sounded strange, but sometimes when you were so mixed up strange things happened. She had so much love to give and now she had someone who loved her back.

They laid in each others arms again, Echo playing with Hermione's hair.

"Can I cut a fringe in for you Mia?" He asked,

"I suppose, but if it looks crap you get tickled!"

"Ok, but it won't do." He smiled, "Kitchen?"

"Yep." She got up and Echo grabbed her hand and led her down the stairs.

He grabbed the kitchen scissors, and did a quick straightening charm just so it was extra straight.

"Ok here we go" He said and started cutting her hair. She waited patiently, and he started to put layers in the back, she sat on a chair and kept blowing at the side fringe hanging at the side of her face. She sighed.

"Done" He said about half an hour later…

She stood up and Echo blew away all the hairs, and then did a quick tidying spell. He washed the scissors and Hermione went upstairs to look at her hair, she screeched and Echo stopped, she came bounding down stairs a smile plastered on her face. "I love it." She said simply.

"Cool, can I mix up a potion for your hair it's a bit dry."

"Ok." She said, "You know if I didn't know you I'd think you were gay."

He laughed and took her upstairs, he then asked where her potion box was, "In my wardrobe" She replied and pointed,

Echo went over and got the box out, he then started to mix up a potion, Hermione watched him smiling, he bit his bottom lip whilst concentrating and looked really cute.

He finished and then went over and applied it to her hair, it was gloopy it kind of had the consistency of the draught of truth that Neville made as a revision topic at the start of this year she thought.

"Right I'd leave it for about an hour…" He said and kissed her, "You look sexy with a green sludgy potion-y head"

"I bet I don't" she laughed,

Harry knocked on the door outside,

"I'm making tea, do you two want some?"

"Yeah, please dear" Echo said,

"Yeah thanks… And how about some biscuits?" She asked, grinning at both of the guys looks, "And then maybe we can _all_ chat a bit"

"Okay" Echo said,

"Yeah. Sure" Harry said, and smiled at them both, "I'll be up in five then."

Harry went downstairs and got out some biscuits and shoved them on a plate, he then turned on the kettle and waited for it to boil. He then got three mugs of tea up and put it all on a tray and went into Hermione's room.

He put the tea on the bed and they all sat around, Hermione grabbed a biscuit first and dipped it into her tea, she was doing this for herself, not for Echo or Harry. For her. She took a bite and savoured the taste.

Well they we are. Doopie doopie doo!

xxxxxxx


	16. Bathtime

**I love you to the bones**

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

**Warning:** This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it (A/U), don't read. They are OOC. This fic is not going to change because of the sixth book, which incidentally was awesome, it is staying as it is.

**News:** You are still all great. I am doing okay, I've had a couple of relapses but besides I'm doing okay. I have loads of free time now anyway, cause I'm trying to stay away from my friends for a while and stuff until I sort myself out.

-------x------

Hermione looked a Harry and Echo's faces, they looked so happy, so much happiness caused by taking a bite out of a biscuit.

"So…" Hermione said, grinning, "Ok, yes… I ate a goddamn biscuit. And I didn't do it for you" She pointed to Echo, "Or you" She pointed to Harry, "I did it for myself." She sighed, "For me."

Echo kissed her forehead, and Harry gave her hand a squeeze.

"Good." Said Echo, "At least you recognize you have a problem, and that you have to want to sort yourself out."

"Yeah, and just remember me, Echo, Ron, everyone. We'll be here for you every step of the way." Harry said, Hermione gave his hand a squeeze.

"You both mean a lot to me. And Echo, keep to your side of the bargain and I'll keep to mine"

"What bargain?" Harry asked,

"Echo is stopping drugs, if I stop with my anorexia." Hermione said, taking a sip of tea.

"That won't be easy" Harry said,

"I know. But it needs to be done, for both of us"

"Yeah" Said Hermione agreeing with Echo.

"Is that your third biscuit?" Harry asked her,

"No, second." She said smiling. "Not gonna have a third though, got to take this a step at a time."

"We understand." Echo said,

"Mmm" Harry took a sip of tea and leant back against the bedpost. "Put Silverstein on."

"You like Silverstein?" Echo asked,

"Yep." Harry said,

"Ok." Hermione went over and put it on, "Never knew you liked Silverstein?"

"Yeah, well I don't blast my music out on full _ALL_ the time, do I?"

Hermione whistled innocently,

Echo laughed, "You should go wash that off now 'Mione," he said, "Should be done by now, your hair wasn't that dry"

"Okay. Don't you two argue when I'm gone."

"OK professor granger." Echo said in a sing-song voice.

Hermione walked into the bathroom and turned on the taps to the bath, she got undressed and then went through to Harry's room with a towel wrapped around her. Harry walked in just as she bent over to pick up his CD player. He stared for a second that seemed longer than it actually was,

"Ahem" He coughed, Hermione recoiled quickly,

"Sorry, borrowing your CD player."

"It's fine" Harry said, "I'm just getting my CDs"

"Ok" Hermione left the room and walked into the bathroom, she placed the CD player down and then went through to her room, she grabbed a CD, and then felt some hands on her waist,

"Mmmm, sexy" Echo said, and pushed her around, and planted a kiss on her lips, Hermione raised her free hand and wrapped it around his neck pulling him closer to her body. He ravished her body with his hands, and she pulled away and stared at him closely, he put his hands on her hips and she wrapped hers around his neck.

"I love you" She said,

"I love you too" Echo said and planted a sweet, tender kiss on her lips, "Now go wash the gunk off your hair" He said and the two laughed she pranced into the bathroom and locked both doors.

Hermione slipped The Spill Canvas in the CD player and slipped her body into the warm water. She washed the gunk out of her hair pretty sharpish, and gave herself a thoroughly good clean. Hermione kept topping up the water to keep it warm.

About twenty minutes there was a knock on the door,

"Mia, it's Echo" Echo shouted through the door, Hermione got out of the bath wrapped a small towel around herself, gave her hair a quick shake and walked over to the door she opened it a smidgen,

"What's up?" She asked,

"Well Harry's gone to quidditch practice. So I thought you know we could get clean together?" He arched an eyebrow quirkily.

"Okay then" Hermione said and opened the door, Echo snuck in and smiled at her, he locked the door. Hermione got in the tub, and Echo undressed and Hermione wolf-whistled jokingly, and hummed the theme from the full-monty.

Echo slipped into the bath and started playing with the taps, flows of white bubbles that smelt of vanilla started gushing out of one. And then a lilac mist floated in and out of the mounds of white bubbles the two were nearly buried under.

"Ok lets stop playing with the taps now before we suffocate in some freak bubblebath accident" Hermione said, and Echo laughed,

"Ok" He said and smiled sheepishly.

Hermione made her way over to him, and he wrapped his hands around her waist, she played with his hair in his finger and they stared at each other for a few moments. Then Echo reached forward and kissed her on the lips, gently first then getting stronger and stronger. Hermione ran her hands up his chest, and his hands massaged her breasts. She moaned gently into the kiss, he ran his hand down her body and slipped a digit inside her, and then another. He pumped his fingers in and out of her, and she threw her head back moaning, and intermittently murmuring his name. He could feel her throbbing and he pulled his fingers out and gently massaged her clit, she kissed his neck occasionally nipping at the skin. He pulled her legs up by her thighs and she wrapped them around his body, he slowly pushed himself into her and she moaned. He started to go in her fast and she clutched onto his back, he grunted slightly. She looked at him he looked so pretty when he was trying. She moaned loudly, he was hitting just the right spot, he went in faster and Hermione, moaned his name as he released inside her. He pulled himself out and kissed her forehead. She smiled and rested her head in the crook of his neck.

He smiled and lifted her chin up and kissed her gently on the lips,

"I love you so fucking much" He said,

"I love you too" Hermione replied, and smiled. She got out of the bath and wrapped a towel around her body and one around her hair, Echo followed suit except he just towel dried his hair and then hung the towel back up. The two got dressed and Hermione checked the time,

"We'll have to go for dinner now" She said,

"Alright," Echo replied and took her hand and the two went down to dinner, they entered to great hall and Echo sat with Hermione, they were soon joined by Harry. The three sat talking animatedly all dinner, and Hermione ate some beef, potatoes, a load of vegetable and even had some gravy.

-------x------

Tadaaaa! Well there we go, I know it was short and not much really happened but I thought we needed some Hermy/Echo luvvin' so yeah, review pleeeease. Ooooh, and check out my new story and I'll love you even more than I already do!

Love ya all,

Liv


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